Likewise, I saw "Surrogates" last weekend. I put it in my queue without realizing Bruce Willis was in it, otherwise I wouldn't have ordered it. Not that I mind Bruce - I think he's a great actor - but he's too mainstream for my taste. If he's in a movie then I know they don't walk too far off the beam. And this movie delivered exactly that.

It's not terrible, but it's nothing you'd email home about; utterly predictable and rather '1984-ish' as well as trying too hard to be a social commentary. In general? Meh. I'd say skip it, but since I'm usually the last one to see a new release, I'd guess the victims are already out there. Check it out at your own risk.

Man. What a long, long weekend it was. (Not that I'm complaining, except that I am.) First off, our dishwasher is dead and refuses to even appear at a seance. THAT'S how dead it is. Added to that is the fact that we had 4 extra adults for dinner on Friday night. Added to that is the fact that The Wif had to run off to the vet Up The Hill and I had D-Man here with me on my day off. Added to that is the fact that The Wif "had" to stop at several stores along the way back so Bink could "take care of some personal business." (yeah, sure.) Added to that was the fact that the menu consisted of pork ribs that had to be prepped, grilled, (turning every 15 minutes), then prepped and baked for 3 hours. Then - since the dishwasher was broken - I had to take steps to get things ready to be hand-washed.

And that was just Friday, but it was a good time.

Saturday seemed unusually long, but only because I and the elder two children were running all over town to fulfill our list: Sam's Club, Wally-World and King's before we got home. The kids got to relax in their room while I unloaded and stored our goods, when a surprise appeared: my folks. Now, they're always welcome here but I had NO idea they were on their way, so it was a bit odd to see. Turns out they were returning MLD's coat that she had left in their car.

See, my folks take MLD to karate on Thursdays, so she had occasion to leave things in their car. I'd rather not have her forget her things, natch, but whaddyagonnado? I'm just completely grateful that my folks are there when we need them. Couldn't be any better at it, frankly.

The rest of the day saw me doing the dishes from Friday night, (or most of them, anyway), lying down for about a half-hour and then preparing dinner. I'm beginning to get used to this, but I certainly want the dishwasher back in working order. I'm sure there was an ad Way Back When that touted the "Modern Living" aspects of an automatic dishwasher. I'm also very, very sure that it was right. Hand-washing dishes just stinks.

Then, on Sunday I move the 4X into the driveway so we can drive it to church since it's snowing, load up the coats, start the vehicle, put the birthday presents and backpack containing the Gi's into the back, build and eat a sausage-muffin...

But I should back up.

At exactly 12:39 on Sunday morning I climbed out of bed because I wasn't sleeping and had some lyrics running through my mind. I decided to write them down, so I turned on my computer, natch, (that's how I know what time it was). I wrote down what was running through my mind, printed it out, made sure the camera was charging and climbed back into bed to not sleep some more. Because that's how I do things.

I gave the print-out to The Wif the next morning and never heard another thing about it. Grand. I then took a few minutes and placed the chorus' where I thought they belonged and printed another copy. I folded that, placed it in my chest pocket, grabbed the camera and headed downstairs to get everyone ready to go, plus some breakfast for myself.

Once at church - a long, late, troubled journey - the Padre, (as I call him but he's actually the Family Pastor), said he enjoyed my Facebook update. You know, the one that said: MUST. NOT. KILL. BOY. Yes, the Family Pastor said he enjoyed it. And he has a newborn boy. "Just Wait."

Anyway, I gave him the print of the lyrics, (I don't believe them to be "mine"), and said that if he wants to do something with them he was welcome to, because he was a serious musician whereas I'm just a goofball. I also told him that if he wanted to toss them away he could do that, too. I don't expect a top 40 hit from it all, but if it reaches even one, it will make a difference.

After church - and noticing the really sweet, new, cool LCD screens in the lobby - we headed down the mountain. Stopping for lunch at the usual place, we showed up about 10 minutes late, but the kids were in their gi's. They did Kenpo Karate - which is not what they're used to - and played some different games, because it was (obviously) a different school and a different teacher in a different town with a different form since we were going to a birthday party. The birthday party of the son of My Israeli Brother, to be exact.

They practiced the basics for some time, working on kicks and the like, (PROUD AS HELL! To say that MLD was the best and the only one who held her hands in place and did her HI-YAH'S! as they were supposed to. My chest is bursting), then played a game of 'don't fall off the roof.' The idea is that the teacher and his assistant would approach the kids with a pad and try to force the kids off the red area of the mat and onto the blue area. If you could kick the pad, that would stop the "attack."

D-Man was the last standing of his group twice - and I honestly believe that got him targeted by the instructors. So what? You win some you lose some, right? Well, once pushed off the "roof" he decided to whine and complain and try to say that he HAD kicked the bag, but the teacher had told him to sit down because he was out.

He kept whining. And whining.

Until I was sick of it. I told him to sit down. He whined. I told him to come to me. He (perhaps wisely), refused. I insisted and he finally came to sit down near me. AND THEN! he whined again. I took him to sit with Mommy. He fussed. Once there, Mommy asked what was going on and I gave her the thumbnail. He then whined again. Mommy picked him up to hug him and... AND!! he hit her. Yes, he actually "karate chopped" her.

So I gently reminded him that whatever he does to Mommy he does to me and gave him a light smack across the shoulder. He had a fit, (Mommy did too, actually, which I'll never understand), and then was removed to be placed in the car.

I sat in there with him as he took off his gi and put it away. I gave him small, short lectures instead of the 20 mintues of yelling we used to get and told him that if he quit crying and having baby-fits he could go back in for cake. He eventually calmed down and I said that he'd have to apologize to Mommy and our hostess for ruining everything. I'm not sure what finally got through to him, but he finally caught on and we headed back inside.

Cake was had and all seemed well. Until we came home and he was sitting on his younger brother's head. No Snack, red dots all 'round, no book, no video. We'll be calling the therapist today. I mean, it's not like we can take away his Playstation. Because he doesn't have one. So we have to assume that anger could be genetic and he'll need treatment now so it doesn't become a problem for him in the future.

I hope...

Well, we're finally here and as I tweeted today, I couldn't be happier that it's my day off. I'm so happy, in fact, that I'm fearing tomorrow/today: D-Man is going to miss movie night. Could be an interesting time round the ol Stonestead. He'll be stuck in his own room - due to his own bad behavior - while the rest of us lie down in our bed and watch a movie. Hate to do it, but Have to do it.

And! Now that I've set the mood: The Joke Of The Week!!

Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One guy says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."

"What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"

OY. I just don't know what we're going to do with D-Man. Throw him out the window, perhaps, (of course not). He's developed a very serious, detrimental and aggressive attitude; he hits, kicks, throws things and then excuses himself by saying, "I said 'I'm sorry'." Well, that ain't going to cut it, mister.

In fact, Bink has reported many "wrongs" done against him by his older brother - as is the younger brother's wont - and in most cases I'll just say, "do it back to him," or "ignore it." (Neither one is a Mommy-approved answer, BTW) So aside from teaching the boys not to kill each other - or at least do so quietly depending on whom you ask - we've also been trying to teach the kids to say "I'm sorry" when accidental contact occurs.

The problem we're facing now is that the kids think that saying, "I'm sorry," is the great eraser, no matter what you've done. We're trying to teach the difference between intentional actions and accidental actions. We may not be doing the best job, as we learned recently...

As I said, Bink is a tattle-tale; if one of his siblings steps on an ant, we're going to hear about it. I'd like to think it's a phase but he's always been this way, so I think we're pretty much stuck with it for some time to come. Anyway, as they were putting on 'jammies' the other night, I heard from Bink that D-Man had yelled at him. Now, I was in the next room and didn't hear D-Man yell, so I was about to tell Bink to "stow it" and that his brother could call him a ham sandwich and it wouldn't make him a ham sandwich.

When he struck. In a fit of pique D-Man told me, "I said I'm sorry," and then yelled at me, "SO WHAT?!?"

Well. Anyone who knows me even a whit will recognize that I'm not going to let this pint-sized orange belt get away with that kind of krep. He was immediately disallowed "snack," got a "red dot," (3 of those in a week and you lose movie night), and was walked back into his closet by a rather perturbed Father. So he learned his lesson, right?

Err, no. Tonight at "snack" he started talking back in anger. TO. ME. I sent him to bed and he started dancing on the tile floor on which he knows he should not be dancing. I counted him out: "ONE!" he ran out of the room and I followed him. "TWO!" He ran up the stairs and I threatened to follow him, (give me a break - it was a long day). I soon heard the door close and knew that he was finally smart enough to get his tiny little butt in bed.

I let him stew for a couple of minutes and then went up. He was sitting up in his bed. Yes; sitting up. I gave him the "Dad" lecture about behaving and following the rules, (I STILL can't belive that I'M the Dad), and "getting your act together."

He sat.

He stewed.

He looked mad.

He was told to lie down. And then he threw himself onto his bed. That's when the spankings started. Four, to be exact.

We tried it anew, I covered him with his blanket and he went out very quickly. He's earned another red dot, so he'll be exempted from movie night, but maybe that and the threat of being removed from karate will help to correct his attitude.

But even if that works, I wonder for how long that will work. In another 8 years he may be completely out of control. Perhaps anger CAN be inherited through DNA...?

Not to compare children - in the least - I sometimes have Bink or MLD or D-Man in my lap if I can find time to sit down in the evening and they're not due at some other activity. By nature, MLD is much more still and sometimes likes the occasional tickle. D-Man LOVES to be tickled and will frequently ask for it; squealing like a stuck pig when I do, but loving every minute of it. Bink? Not so much. He's all about proving that he's stronger than Daddy, (and may be very soon), so we wrestle and play a game of "push-hands" where he tries to pin my hands to the back of my chair. Of course, if I win, he goes off the chair and onto the floor.

Of course, I'm still able to win, so the little guy goes "clunk."

He then climbs back on my lap and asks, "why did you push me?" I tell him, "because you pushed me first." He then smiles the most adorable smile ever created and says in his best squeaky-voice, "Ooooo-Kay and lays his head on my chest.

It was a moment that would have given people diabetes...

OH. KREP. I just filed my taxes - I believe I mentioned this a time or two - when guess what I received today? My 1099-G from the State. Did I mention which political party is running our State these days? Don't have to? Thank you, my friend.

So now I'm stuck. Again. My return has been accepted and payment is about to take place. Which will be an insufficient payment now. But since I know that the feds and the state talk to each other regarding these types of things, (they're such gossips!), and I know that our last return was edited to include/exclude something or other last year, (who can tell?), and our refund was adjusted, can I safely guess that as they edit the record they'll discover the difference and just fix it for us?

It's the gubermint, so of course not. Oh sure, you'll say, "file an amended return" but that's easy for you to say. You want to do it, C'Mon over.

The worst part is that I was just about (tomorrow night) to do our state return and then wash my hands of the whole business. But now, having received this new form, I may need to re-work the return in order to satisfy the state and only catch krep from the feds.

Such joy. When do we go to a flat-tax?

In karate news, the boys earned their second stripe(s) tonight. MLD is enjoying the fact that she earned her first stripe and - apparently - even helped another white belt to learn her forms. Now, I LOVE her helpful spirit but I'm getting to the point where I wish my kids would take care of their own business first. It's kind of like the airline message where they say to get your mask on first and THEN take care of others; you're of no use to others if you die while trying to help them.

Obviously it's not that dire and as I said I'm grateful for her spirit but maybe we need to work on focus? Just thinkin'. Of course if you add to that the fact that her brothers are orange belts while she's still a white belt - all on their way to a promotion - but counter with the idea that she's, 1) Female and 2) The oldest Child, it all adds up to a general position of bossiness.

Expected, frankly.

In politics, does this guy ever get tired of seeing himself on TV? (Answer: NO!!!!) Does he ever get tired of lying to the American People? (Answer: NO!!!!) The fact is that the Republicans have offered several alternatives to o-care, but he's not willing to accept them because they all have a component of tort-reform. Which, should he ever be stoned enough to sign, would cripple his main lobby. Their plans reduce federal regulations and let people buy insurance across state lines, (which sound likes an excellent idea given my recent experience - see above), but he can't possibly allow federal power to be reduced.

I'll admit that I'm slow to come to a conclusion sometimes, but this one is becoming rather obvious...

Well, the KGB IRS has already accepted our tax return. oh. joy. They'll soon be charging our account for the $340 so I've transferred more than sufficient funds to cover it already. And as I mentioned, I reduced my withholding to something that may bring our liability close to zero, given The Wif's unpredictable income and with no idea how the child-care account she supports from her check will affect the whole process.

But it's kind of neat to get about $900 every two months -- even though I know we've already paid for it.

Still, it's a total mess. In trying to correct for over-withholding we've under-withheld. Which is fine, frankly; I'd rather owe these morons a little bit than leave 10 grand in their hands for an entire year, interest free. I mean, what am I? Chinese?

The next step - natch - is to do our State return. This one worries me a bit since the idiots in this state voted in measures that steal our tax returns for untold generations. "But it's for the CHILDREN!" Yeah; isn't everything?

So we'll have to wait and see what we owe the State, because Tuesday is a terribly busy night for us: The Knuckleheads have karate as well as MLD - one after the other. But The Knuckleheads are there for only 1/2 hour while MLD's class lasts 45 minutes. This means that we're all there from 5:45 to 7:00. Since "jammie time" is about 7:25 it means an early dinner, a quick snack, jammies and book/videos are all rushed so we can pretend to put the kids down to sleep at 8:00. (It's a fantasy we're clinging to, so don't spoil it)

In response, we've started taking The Knuckleheads to their class separately. This works out well since I'm at home on Tuesdays so I can get the kids, rush the boys through dinner, take them to karate just as The Wif comes home. MLD can finish any homework she might still have and The Wif can get some dinner. I take The Knuckleheads to karate and hang there with them. The Wif brings MLD to karate, where we meet up again, and I then take The Knuckleheads home and give them a bath. NASA could take a lesson from us; especially considering the recent, severe budget cuts...

And look: I know most of you don't give a leap at a rolling donut about my family schedule and how we handle it, but I'll go back to the unofficial motto of this site; "It's MY site." Not to be brusque or anything, but I AM the one paying the bill, after all.

On the movie front, I recently watched "The Island," (details here), and half-watched "Death Sentence" (details here) (don't ask) and I have to say that they're both pretty good movies, (or at least "Death Sentence" seems to be so far). "Death Sentence" seems to be a remake of "Death Wish" for the most part, but it puts me one step closer to Kevin Bacon, so feel free to use me in your next 'six degrees' game, if it'll count. And if not, just do a shot for me anyway.

"The Island" was an interesting mix; the religious elements were all over the grid and I was afraid it was going to be a big Anti-Gubermint flick, but it turned into an Anti-Business flick, which is worse in my mind; after all, to criticize the gubermint for doing something evil is misguided because they're far too incompetent to put something like that together. Blaming business is kind of interesting because you'd have to see the year-end report to the shareholders - and ask Dood to check it over - to be sure, but the numbers would be there.

In short, people are contained due to an earth-wide contamination but there's a "lottery" where they can win a trip to "the island," which is the promised land and free from the contamination. The people are allowed to participate in physical activity, (Wii-type kickboxing), but members of the opposite sex are not allowed to get too close to each other, (they wear tracking bracelets). Well, as expected, one guy messes it all up, gets the attention of the people running the place and eventually screws things up completely.

It's a fairly predictable ending, but it's a pretty good waste of time if you want to (eventually) see things crash and blow up.)

So it's February (yes, two "r's") already and with a new month comes new pressures and pleasures. For The Wif and I, we're just getting out of a weekend "off" from parenting since the little monsters spent the weekend with my folks: we got to sleep in, fool around a little and buy new light fixtures for the kitchen. You're left to your own devices to decide which activity I enjoyed the most...

OH! And I did our taxes. 3 times. The first time showed a refund of over $10,000 - which The Wif quickly spent. Thankfully, she only spent it mentally. The next time, we owed $560. What the...?

The third time (with the same numbers, mind you), it showed us as owing $340. I called it good and filed our return. Of course, after the return came back with a refund of 10K the first time I went into my employers' website and increased my dependents from 12(!) to 16(!!). After filing the return I went back in and changed it from 16 to 8.

Dear God in Heaven, we've created a tax system that even the software can't figure out given multiple chances; I'm supposed to trust them with my kids, my Wif and my prostate? What a blessing Scott Brown will hopefully become!

Two things stand out about the SOTU address last week: first, do we really think that after bloating the deficit beyond all historical boundaries this guy is going to "freeze spending?" What the Hell good is that?!? They come in, triple-plus the spending and then say, "oh - we're done now." Right. Try that with your spouse: "Hon, I'm going to do 3 times the heroin I currently do, but I'll freeze it at that level." Criminey - who believes this krep anymore? Who's still buying what he's selling?

The other thing is when The One called for anyone with an alternative to O-Care to 'just bring it to me.' HUH? The Republicans have - as last I counted them - 4 alternative plans already on the table. Most of which include TORT REFORM (john edwards, call your office!), and a relaxation of FEDERAL REGULATION on health insurance coverage: enabling to buy insurance across state lines, as one exammple.

Did you know that the largest health insurer in most states is a non-profit? I bet not. san-fran-nan couldn't live with news like that getting out. Profit? That's for congress and congress only...