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This krep was posted:

AUGUST 2008
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All commentary Copyright Stonestead.com, 2007. No part may be reproduced without permission. All statements within are the express view of the author and not necessarily those of his employeer, his clergy, his spouse, his friends or even himself.

So my truck (The Death Star) is parked in the middle of the driveway. Again. This can only mean one thing: The Wif's car (Ezmerelda), is NOT in the garage. Not OURS anyway. And it's certainly NO BLOODY concession to eva braun who dropped by last week in order to recite the litany of my sins against the Reich, (but couldn't be bothered to stick around long enough to even consider asking me to dispense the cyanide or load the pistol. Typical of these Prussian Dames, if you ask me), but indicative of a rather lengthy and expensive stay in the bunker.

So to speak...

So as The Wif drives my truck today, (and Bink rides in the seat from her car because she cannot work his seat from my truck), I'll sit at home and LONG to eat Sonic for breakfast, Sonic for lunch and try to find my way to Sonic at about 2 PM so I can order some tots to get me through until dinner. But I'll be damned, (to use Bink's word), if I'll ride the bus.

I could cook my own tots before having to suffer that...

In a very real sense I'm waiting for all the wrong things right now. I'll admit that I'm more restless than I've ever been - I'd love to travel right now, which is no doubt a feeling I inherited somewhere along the way - but which will go unrewarded for the time being, because I'm finally the one in charge.

Things are too busy now and without further forces to drive me to a point there won't really be one, but I'm starting to get it:

Our kids need to experience many of the same things we did at their ages. That's pretty much a given and was the norm as far as things once went in this great country of ours; we experienced it as children, so we forced our children to experience it as we became parents.

The rants may change but the people don't; the very definition of family in today's world, I suspect.

By the way, I hear that Disneyland is beautiful this time of year, but maybe that's just me...

Oh, krep: it's Monday again. Well, we've got to live with the hand we're dealt -- even if it includes a Moanday now and then, right?

The weekend? Well, thanks for asking! It was rather long for only having two days off and it read like a ripe peach; soft overall, (he said while counting his blessings), but with a few sticky spots and even a glimpse at the hard, unyielding pit beneath. So you know, life as usual...

It started with a sick kid, but don't they all? That being enough to alter my Sphere Of Influence, I found myself doing email from home as a child slept on the couch. The one that can still be seen/found that is; NOT the two that are beyond approach by any but the most hardened and cynical of adventurers, (such as your humble narrator).

Eventually Saturday arrived and after "toss-o los cookie-amos in el bag-o de heave-o" at the sight of the latest obama ad, I experienced a new kind of thrill: shopping for harvest decorations in the heat of August with two young monsters while we still don't even have a single crop in the ground.

I believe this is called "suburbia," but we're about to get to that...

After my Thursday run-in and having explained it to The Wif, we had a rather interesting exchange -- which followed the "official citation" arriving in the mail here on Saturday. Oh, wait. we're not quite there...

Saturday morning saw much of the same of what we were already used to: the boys getting up before we're ready for them to do so, eating each others' snacks and fighting over whatever they see as the best of it and then eventually trying to batter the door into toothpicks. It's standard fare so it held no surprise.

We went downstairs to a breakfast of Daddy french toast and bacon and then Mommy and Bink left for parts north. I made the best of my time by going first to Hobby Lobby, ($23 on Fall and Christmas decorations), and then to the hardware store. I bought 6 feet of 1/2 inch hose and a tap that would allow me to finish attaching the ice maker. And while the pliers were on the loose, I decided to give the swamp cooler its own, dedicated water line as well.

Both projects were accomplished in short order. So I got that going for me.

What I really wanted to do was get some idea of where our various Halloween decorations are at the moment. It's not that I expect we'll have the "perfect" Halloween this year, but I'm getting very close in theory. Here's my idea; We'll have a "kids' path" through the yard or on the furthermost frindges of the driveway that leads to a very "softly" decorated" way to the front door and the related candy therein.

On the other hand, the garage might be kept open and a very, very harrowing path - one FAR too scary for my own kids - could be created. Perhaps there would be a greater reward on the other side of that web-infested door for those brave enough to make it through.

Then again, maybe they'd just get Mike & Ikes. It's anyone's guess.

But Halloween is just the beginning; what do we top that with? There could be brown boa giveaways and urban turkey shoots in honor of Thanksgiving as well as, "Shoot the Christmas Robin out of the sky" contests for the following month. But I'm just brainstorming at this point...

(Confused? Can't say as I blame you. Got a grasp on my weekend yet?)

(NOTE: I'm out of my mind currently. Standards of good taste may have been abandoned in this effort. You've been warned.)

I'm writing this much, much earlier than I usually do, and with (what I consider to be) good reason: I'm more ticked than a Maine forest...

I was casually walking to the mailbox - feeling just swell about having finished my latest Netflix movie by Thursday, which means that I should get my next flick on Saturday - when I was greeted by a white truck parked where I used to park on the street.

Beyond my knowledge, a self-described "code enforcement officer" had decided to visit my home to point out all of my civic errors, as concerns our domestic facade.

The home, that is, not our family life. The latter would be handled by a completely different entity, and I already know most of their names, so that's of little threat.

No, she was here to tell me that I was in violation - and the recipient of a complaint - because there was a collection of furniture on my porch. Never mind that it was out to be collected by ARC and would therefore benefit the less fortunate among us. That doesn't matter; this pencil-pusher had a "job" to do and was intent on seeing it through.

Once she accosted me she also went on to inform me that not only was our trailer parked illegally, but my truck was as well. This was due to the fact that the trailer - and about 1/4 of my truck - was resting on a small plot of "unimproved" land.

I wanted to tell that parking my truck as it was, IS an improvement, but she stopped me cold: "you also have weeds."

At that point, it was all I could do not to uproot a large clump and force them down her gob, but I still had a DVD to put in the mail, so I refrained...

Against my better judgment I tried to plead my case to this worthless "patrol" officer: I told her that I had a car that was invaded while it was parked on the street and several neighbors also had their vehicles invaded on the same night. "Why" I asked, "should I be forced to put my truck in danger when your precious city entity can't guarantee it's safety?" instead of parking close to MY BLOODY HOME?!?!?

I HATE this place. I HATE these morons. I want out and I want out now and I have more than enough experience behind me to prove my case at this point.

They should all die in fire...