TERROR ALERT LEVEL:

This krep was posted:

Smarch 2010
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Same guy, different krep...
Father Knows

Things to put in your head...

Friends...

Everyday reads...

Read on his terms...
Lileks

Stuff for your ears...

 

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My Amazon Wish List

All commentary Copyright Stonestead.com, 2010. No part may be reproduced without permission. All statements within are the express view of the author and not necessarily those of his employeer, his clergy, his spouse, his friends or even himself.

(This one actually made me laugh so I thought I'd share.)

So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula.

The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula, astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drank the blood of all the children". "Impressive" said Dracula.

Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see this tower?"

Dracula replies with a yes.

And the bat says "Well, I didn't".

Sometimes it just feels that way, right?

I'm certainly glad I don't have the little o's nerve in my tooth; I couldn't take it and would have to finally - after 3 decades - visit a dentist. But I've said this before, haven't I?

This idiot that so many of you decided to vote for because his skin color was his ONLY qualification is suddenly saying the gubermint needs to take over ALL of the big Wall street firms in order to turn things around. Well, that and convince all of you to turn to the gubermint over ANY type of private industry, because State Control must not be questioned.

But here's a question: do you have any investments in "The Market?" You bet you do. You might not know it, but you probably do. My Fed Friends who are in anything aside from the G fund, (otherwise known as morons), are in the market in some form or another. My Private Sector friends are probably invested in a 401(K) or a 203(B) or IRA or Roth or some other form of retirement account that at least leans on the stock market. So basically, we all have an interest in the market doing well.

(At this point I'll take a pause to say that I'm shocked to realize that most of my friends are invested somewhere, and a mere 2 decades ago our circumstances were something quite different from what they are today. Live and learn, I guess.)

So why does the little o have such a problem with Wall Street? Especially considering the fact that he collected millions upon millions of dollars from the very firms his administration is now hounding as The Beast From Hell? It only makes sense if you understand chicago politics: you use what you can use for as long as you can use it to your own advantage. Then you use it with the promise of fixing things for as long as you can use that. Once the fix fails, you try to hold out hope for your victim constituent as long as possible until they're bled to death.

Then you pass a law suggesting a subsidy. Perfect!

Thanks for all that, you guys. Just try to remember that my (now) 3 kids' college funds are totally hosed because you wanted to feel good about yourself...

The flowers are in bloom, the lawn guy is due at any moment and my own lawnmower won't start. Is this perfect, or what?!?

Well, we always have problems or else it wouldn't be life, right? So when I got in my truck and tried to go to the Post Office I was slightly shocked by the fact that it didn't start. Didn't groan. Didn't click. Did nothing other than ding-ding-ding because the door was still open.

Now I now that many of you will blame the problem on that, but that's my normal routine; jump in, insert the key, turn the key, start the engine, close the door, put on my belt. Same as always.

That's if I'm alone. It's a whole different story if even one child is in my charge.

So the lawnmower is filled with stale gas, my truck battery is dead beyond any help, (I've tried), and I wish that my truck engine had a pull flywheel and the lawnmower had a battery, starter and even a glove compartment.

Dare to dream, y'all...

So we had the neighbors for dinner tonight, which is not the first time there's been a teenage female in our house who couldn't be counted upon to give two craps about whether they wanted to be here or not. Usually, the kids win them over, (just wait and see if we get the toddler!), but every now and then you have to wonder about the whole, Who Wants To Be Where thing. And sometimes I'm the one that drags them to the side that says, "Well, it won't kill me to stay here. I guess."

So we had a dinner of crispy/BBQ/Cajun ribs - cooked to perfection as the smoke rolled into my already agitated eyes - as well as hash browns, rolls, baked beans and who knows what all else. But it was delicious, if I may say so as the person who cooked all of the above.

So I survived a visit from the neighbors, a visit from their teenager and the grilling of the ribs.

I consider myself lucky for the moment. See you soon...

The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement:

We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard in manufactured in Rochester, NY.

The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow.

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Stay tuned...

So I watched "Frailty" recently. The bad thing is that it was almost what I expected it would be. The good news is that wasn't exactly what I expected and an interesting twist at the end made it worth watching, um, in the end, so to speak.

It was directed by Bill Paxton and I half expected to see Arnold Schwarzen-governor in there somewhere if only so Bill could return the favor, (check it out if you don't believe me). Bill also played a major role in the thing - which is probably not all that unexpected - but he does it well. I think. I'm still not sure of what I think about it, frankly.

Matthew McConaughey and Powers Boothe are the contemporary characters but much of the tale is told in flashback. You get to see how a family is destroyed by the lack of a Wife/Mommy - kinda - and how one man's dive into madness affects everyone and everything around him. Perhaps. But maybe not.

I'm not spoiling the outcome and I'm certainly not telling you anything you can't find on IMDB or Wiki or Netflix, but it's an interesting treatment of Faith, no matter how you view it. Either Faith is a thing to dive into or it's something to completely ignore because you don't understand it.

The question seems to be answered by the end of the movie, but even then it's an unsatisfactory answer for someone who wants one. Things are things, even in this pretend world there's real things, fake things and Spiritual things. It turned out to be a pretty cool movie, actually.

Of course I also realize that it's nearly a decade old so most everyone who wanted to has already seen it. But when has that stopped me? It's still a move worth seeing and the most gore you'll ever see - as far as I remember - is a bit of red paint on the end of an axe.

Now that warmer weather is (mostly) here I've been looking around at my property and surveying what exactly has to be done, what should be done and what we would like to see done. You know: triage.

Of course, my list is just a bit different from The Wif's list - which is to say "exactly upside down," but that's to be expected. The surprising thing is what happened today. Today The Wif went out and raked all the pine needles from what I first built as a flower garden. Then she raked out the rocks, (which are rather short-lived at this point) and did who-knows what all else. Then she walked into the personal lamppost at the head of our front yard.

Actually, none of that is the surprising part; she's not afraid of hard work and she's a bit clumsy, bruises easily, (already showing a bright purple this evening) and will take plenty of initiative in certain areas once she's sick of the conditions. So, ain't no new news here.

The surprising part is that she apparently took The Knuckleheads out into the front yard with her and got to watch them race down the street on their bikes while completely out of control. She got to watch D-Man practice luge by lying down on his skateboard and going down the hill. She got to watch Bink corner into our driveway and wipe out a time or two while she raked.

Frankly, I can't believe she ever lets the boys outside at all, since that's where they mostly try to kill each other.

Mostly.

I certainly hope that you 'hopey-changers' out there are happy with what you've done to this country. My kids and my grandkids and their grandkids will be paying for your mistake clear into the next century and probably beyond. The only good news is that those of you who might actually PAY income taxes will see your kids suffer for generations just as mine will. Small consolation, but we take what we can get, right?

Well, that's what most of the voting public did last time 'round...

But here's the rub: the current administration has "adjusted" withholding tables so that workers actually believe they're getting a tax cut because their withholding has dropped and so the take-home pay has increased. Aaahhh! But just wait until next year. Next year, after withholding has dropped and the taxes have gone through the roof, people will have to write all kinds of checks to the i.r.s..

Will this have an effect on people's attitude? Well of course it will. People who don't pay the least bit of attention to politics or their own finances will suddenly find themselves owing 300, 600, 900 dollars or more and with any luck that will slap them into some form of consciousness. (I'm not holding my breath, natch.)

Now, we're told (again and again and again ad nauseam) that the little o is the MOST! BRILLIANT! PRESIDENT! EVER! of this country but let me ask this: how come he hasn't seen this? Why is this obvious point lost upon this complete genius? Could it be that it hasn't come up on his teleprompter yet?

Yeah, probably.

Facebook is just amazing. I mean, it's not everything nor all-powerful, (yet), but it's kinda cool that you can reconnect with people who were once in your life a couple of decades ago.

Like everything, it has it's down-side and we hear about people who leave their families in order to chase down a skirt they remember from high school, but that's honestly, REALLY, not the point of the thing. I promise.

Recently, The Wif found a former friend and co-worker only to learn that they'd continued a very bad, family-hurting pattern of buyingbuyingbuying a new car (in this case). Silly me. I've been concentrating on paying off debt and saving money instead of wasting money I don't have buying things I don't need in order to impress people I don't like.

Instead, I've been fully funding the kids' college funds for two years, socking money away in the bank and in investments. Apparently I've been doing it wrong. Never mind that the house will be paid off before the last child leaves it. Never mind that their tuition, room and board will be paid for. Never mind that we started this month with over 20K in our liquid accounts. I DON'T OWE PAYMENTS ON A BMW!!

I have to re-evaluate this lifestyle of mine...

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But, I did send them."

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."

The lesson never changes: you gotta know how to work the system.

So - to paraphrase the McKenzie Brothers - this is tax day and welcome to it! Universally derided and with good cause these days, it's the day to recognize that we're mortgaging our children's futures in order to... to... do something. ANYTHING. Because apparently this country is in a world big heap of trouble.

Who knew?

In my old age I've become convinced that the psyche and a very misguided sense of gossip, (as if there were any other kind), are the main causes of any and all recessions. If we lose our job and then have even the least bit of trouble trouble finding a new one, well, it's because THE MAN is keeping us down. If we wake up and find ourselves in tons of debt it's because the banks are evil. If our house is foreclosed upon it's not because we've over-reached or bought too early, it's because we were fleeced by a greedy mortgage company, (as if trying to buy a house before we were ready isn't greedy on our part).

And all that's bad enough in OH SO MANY WAYS, but if we have a neighbor who loses his job, then things are still terrible. No matter that we're still working, buying gas, putting food on the table and keeping the lights on; if a neighbor has lost his job, well, then all Hell has broken loose, obviously.

Don't get me wrong: I subscribe to the idea of charity like few others I know and I can at times be sympathetic to the trials of those who live near me. But I'm smart enough not to judge MY situation - much less the entire country's - upon what happens at their address. He lost his job? How do I know it wasn't due to the possibility that he was a complete incompetent? How do I know he showed up every day? How do I know he wasn't caught with the boss's daughter in a compromising position?

To tell the truth, my next-door neighbor lost his job last year, but I don't let it affect me because I see no point in letting it do so. Also because he retired, but that doesn't change my attitude: if the guy across the street lost his job we'd have the family over for dinner, help them out where we could, give advice when asked and look out for them as best we were able. THAT'S the true American spirit...

So on this tax day, remember this first thing: we pay taxes to make up for the nearly half of all Americans who pay zero - ZERO - in income tax. And not only that, they get a part of our refund. Grounds enough to feel patriotic, I guess.

And remember this second thing: there's a ton of TEA parties scheduled for today and they're sure to get lots of media coverage, which is both good and bad. Good because there's about an eight percent chance the message will actually get out there, but a roughly one hundred ninety nine percent chance they'll be distorted into "parties of hate and loathing." How do I know this? Well, first off, the LSM HATE the TEA party movement so they have to turn them into evil devils. And that's before crashtheparty-dot-org came on the scene.

That's right, a lefty group has organized in order to infiltrate the TEA parties in order to make them look like what they WISH they were: a bunch of racist, illiterate trouble makers. What a shock. Is there anything these morons WON'T do?

So when those of you who depend on the networks and the LSM and matthews and olberwuss for their news, just remember that there is a group of activists who have organized, who obviously don't have jobs and are out to discredit the very people who pay their taxes for them.

THAT'S THE GRATITUDE OF THE LEFT FOR YOU!

Here's a little bit of what some of you were warned about before you wasted your vote last November. Never mind, though; I'm sure you'll all get it right next time. Because I have faith that you'll all eventually learn to think for yourselves instead of how your college professors told you how to think.

Here's an interesting story that I'm SURE you'll all hear plenty about[/Sarcasm]: it seems the enemies of the TEA Parties are going about infiltrating them and acting like complete asses in an effort to discredit them. Questions: 1) is dissent still the highest form of patriotism? If not, what changed? 2) Is framing your political enemies in the worst possible light - by pretending to be part of that group - acceptable? Really? Name for me one time, ONE TIME, it's been done the other way. Triple-dog dare you. 3) Which of the two major political parties is obsessed with race? 4) Aren't we supposed to be a post-racial nation now that the little o has raised both his hand and his chin, (unless he's greeting a foreign enemy - then he bows). What's up with that? 5) Aren't we supposed to be more loved around the world now that we've elected the little o? Why hasn't that happened?

Uggh

This was rather interesting. It seems that a legislature is ready to impose a tax on entertainers and clowns. FINALLY! A legislature that's ready to tax itself!!

You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment...

What a day: a bunch of strange problems that somehow settled themselves - so that was good - and a couple of things that were just weird and needed me to massage them a bit before they'd go away and leave me alone. Which was good. And a problem that persists.

And while we haven't received the supplement money nor the tax refund yet, we're still sitting pretty. Aside from the fact that I tried to pay the cell bill via the phone and got cut off. I'm not sure who was responsible for that but I do know that I don't know whether the bill got paid or not. So I'll wait a day or two, (we have until the 28^th), and see if it clears our account before paying it again.

I don't think we have any parent-teacher conferences due this month but I think report card updates are due out soon. Unless I've already signed it and sent it back. I honestly don't know. This stuff comes at you and if you're like me, (GOD help you), you take an interested look, do your duty by signing on the line and hand it over to either the child or The Wif so it'll find it's way back to the school.

Krep. I'm still turning in homework, as it turns out.

I'm in a bit of a haze right now and with good cause. But then, that's just likely an excuse.

Which reminds me that I wanted to get back into golfing. I'll have to try to carve out some time for it. After all, I live within mere minutes of 2 courses. I should be able to get to at least one of them from time to time.

This day vexed me time and time again, but in the end I covered (almost) all my extra sites, got my job done, went after a change that had confounded me and FIXED IT and then, when My Lovely Daughter presented me with her spelling word of "troup" I knew I was almost through the day. This was obviously a typo either because it should be "troupe" or "troop" but it was neither. She was fairly upset because the guidance she'd been given was incorrect so I instructed her to ask her teacher tomorrow and skip the word tonight.

She wasn't thrilled by this answer but went with it all the same. Gotta work with these kids and their inability to fly by the 'seat of their pants.' Except D-Man, of course, who only doesn't fly by the seat of his pants should they be too large to cling to his frame.

(Hold on - I'm tweeting that)

OK. So I've got at least one thorn in the side remaining for tomorrow/today, kid pics that need scanning and posting and printing, karate night for everyone, dinner, laundry, quick dinner, shopping for bananas, (if I know what's good for me), dishes, karate, baths, dinner... oh wait. I fear I've repeated myself.

Off to bed. Can't think of a better reason than that I should be off to bed. I have "The Dark Knight" working on the DVR but it's also on my new hard drive, so I can watch it whenever I choose. One conclusion: off to bed.

See you tomorrow...

Well. I got a bit of an education today, and the lesson is that people actually notice when it's your birthday, because today was mine. When The Wif asked I told her I wanted 3 things; I wanted to sleep in and a steak for dinner. If you're smart enough to complete that count then you're smart enough to finish the list.

So the alarm went off and she told me to stay in bed -- not to complete the list, merely to start it. Dagnabbit...

Since the alarm had sounded I was already awake and though she'd already headed downstairs and I was free to go back to sleep there wasn't a chance in the world I'd be able to. So I flipped up the TV, saw what was on, changed into my "walking around" clothes and checked my email. And then, WHOA, NELLY! A box-load of well-wishes from online friends, former classmates and family members. Yikes.

Then, throughout the day good tidings continued to flow in. More and more and some from whom I'd just "friended," (to use a verb that shouldn't be). Grateful for all the good thoughts and wishes, I am.

Now let me tell you about my day...

I folded MLD's laundry I'd cleaned and dried a day earlier only to hear The Wif tell me she no longer folds our daughter's laundry. She just hands it over in a heap in a basket and MLD is expected to sort, fold and put away her stuff. Well, in for a penny in for a pound I guess, so I finished folding the load. I noted with some discomfort that there were about 20 pairs of pants and only 4 pairs of underwear. This was a problem because we'd learned that MLD had taken to wearing the same underwear all week in order to "save time."

Now, I'm getting to the point where I'm happy for her to be the 'smelly kid' because it would mean that the boys would pay her less attention, (let me kid myself, please), but there is a hygiene issue involved that I'd rather land on Neptune than have to explain to her. It's also true that I wasn't able to wash ALL of her dirty laundry because it wouldn't have fit in the same load. So maybe all her underwear is in the other hamper. Yeah. And maybe I'm John Galt.

I'll be asking Mommy to monitor that second load of laundry and if it's not 80% girl underwear I'm going to order the "Monday" "Tuesday" "Wednesday," etc... set of panties for MLD. At least then an accurate inventory can be kept. Well, except for the Laundry Monster, natch.

I also did boy laundry. Then I washed the dog beds and believe you me, it was a tough job remembering which was which. I eventually figured out that the basket that contained the Spiderman underwear was The Knuckleheads' while the basket containing the chew-hole laden blankets were the dogs'. First rate detective work, it was.

I also washed our comforter and changed the sheets on our bed. Since this set of sheets is one I love to sleep on but hate to change, I called in my chief consultant. Sure enough, I'd put the sheets on 90° out of square but my consultant finally said, "as long as they fit and won't pop off, I'm cool with it." Which was exactly my attitude but I certainly didn't expect it to be hers. Errr, theirs.

As for my second wish, The Wif went about her business tending to that too. While I thought she might go to the store and buy a couple of steaks for me to grill up, she instead went online, ordered the family meal from Outback® then went out and collected it. Perfect. She also went to Dairy Queen to get us all "snack" for the evening. Peanut Buster Parfait - and I still have half of it waiting for me whenever I'm ready.

As I tweeted, did I win the spouse lottery or what?

It was a great day in ways she can't possibly imagine it could have been: I served my family, vacuumed the upstairs, did laundry, helped her and then watched her bring me back steak and onion, (AND MUSHROOMS!!) and all was well. And we're all healthy and I expect we're all happy.

I mean, how greedy can a guy get?

In remembrance of my Grandmother, who, in the early days of computing was convinced that I - not my computer mind you, me personally - would catch a computer virus, I report the following:

My dad’s favorite browser is Mazda Foxfire

My step-dad calls it Godzilla Firebox.

Nice! My mom is a big fan of Wind Amp.

My mom asked to be my friend on MyFace.

My Mom genuinely calls the computer the “Googlebox”, she (I think) has no idea what Google is but has heard it associated with computers on the radio. If you ask her what a computer is for she will list 3 things “twittering”, “blogging” and “hotmailing”. “Twittering” and blogging are, according to her, pretty much the same thing “words on the internet” while “hotmailing” (obviously) means emailing, which is only used to say “Turn on your phone I’m trying to call you”.

The Google is a group of geese right?

Friday my boss tryed to enlarge the picture on my screen the same way he does on his Iphone.

It’s 10:30 pm. Phone rings. My dad. “Question: how do you copy a file?”

My Dad accidentally turned off my brother’s computer by flicking the power strip off while vacuuming – he calls me in a panic thinking he just deleted my brother’s entire computer, he was afraid to turn it back on – I had to spend 5 minutes telling him that everything was okay, it was cute.

Grandpa: “Well, it kept saying something about a firewall so I looked behind the desk but how do I tell if the wall is a firewall?”

My mother once called me into the computer room to help her. She was trying to google the name of an author she wanted to look up. Somehow she had navigated to google, then googled the word “google” and was confused because she couldn’t find google.

This does not involve a computer, but is related. A few years ago my mom called me and told me the fax machine wasn´t working because it kept “returning” her the letter she was trying to send.

I forget where on the Interwebs I found this but I'm sure there are many more stories of the same.

The idea that this moron is a 'brilliant individual' is a complete falsehood and he continues to prove it everyday. He can read a teleprompter; so what? I can read a book. Worse yet, he also verifies the fact that institutions of "higher education" simply promote stupid, uneducated people out of the way of those who are actually willing and able to learn. "Editor? Sure - why not?!?"

And then he gets a job in Chicago, (insert your own joke here), where he "organizes" "communities." Which of course means that all is well and good and fine in Chicago now, right? The poor ride unicorns to well-paying jobs and the rich cash checks written on the backs of hamsters for thousands upon thousands of dollars. Which they then immediately distribute by throwing 100 dollar bills into the street below.

Geez. If only this guy could live up to his press, self-image and raised chin persona.

But what happened this week is beyond - BEYOND! THE! PALE! - even for an obvious moron such as this one. This fool actually announced that our country would never, ever, pinky swear and spit-shake, use nuclear weapons against a country that hadn't yet developed nuclear weapons.

Now what kind of special stupidity is that? "Oh sure - hit us with anthrax. Throw some nerve gas our way. Use a nuke - Oh, you don't have a nuke? Well you're free to go, then. Have a nice day!" What kind of an idiotic deal is that?!? It's like telling the guy who breaks into your house to rape and murder your family that since he brought a knife but not a gun, you'll put your 9MM back into the safe and grab a butter knife instead - but please hold that thought while I do so.

Sheesh. Just as we're worried about iran finishing their plans to build a nuclear bomb we announce we won't ever - EVER - disrupt that program. It's the utter arrogance of the left that they believe they can charm or talk or grab their ankles their way into the enemy's hearts enough to convince them to love us.

Here's a hint, you birkenstock-wearing, patchouli-scented, brain-dead, graduate-school-going retards: they hate us already. And the funniest thing is that they hate us for all the things you pretend to like about us: abortions? ABSOLUTELY! sex in the movies? HOW COULD WE AFFORD NOT TO?!? Women driving cars and going to school? HOW ELSE COULD I AFFORD THIS LARGE SCREEN LCD?!?

So here's the new plan: we W... A... I... T... until a nation has nukes - and then attacks us with them - before we do anything about it. And then we'll be responding with decades-old weapons.

Yeah. Thanks for this moron, you morons...

One of the problems of this Interwebs thing is that you're forced - from time to time - to leave it. You know the thing; taking nourishment, going to the loo, spending time with those little people that populate your house - that kind of stuff. Oh. And there's that little matter of spending time with the spouse, but the Interwebs have been doing their best to solve that problem.

So at least they have their priorities set correctly...

But as a result of being away from a keyboard - and it mostly doesn't affect me; I can do email, FaceBook, Youtube, online TV, etc, etc - I from time to time forget what/who I've decided to search for once I'm back at Command Central. For example, I'll be cruising down the street and think, "I'll have to search for Bobby McFalsehood once I'm back home," or "what does my boyhood home look like now?" or "did I pay the water bill?" and that will be on my mind for a good deal of time, but unfortunately not until I get home and back to my desk.

So I'll wait until they return - either when I'm on the throne or in the shower - and then forget them again once I've found a distraction along the way. You know: something like having to open a tin of food for the cat.

(Criminey am I a simple creature.)

At any rate, what all this is trying to say is that I spent most of today mentally composing something that I should have at least put down on paper. No -- check that; if I'd written it down on paper there isn't a chance in this world I would be able to read it. Better that I'd typed it out on a keyboard... ...

Oh, wait. I see the problem there. Krep.

I got my new external hard drive today and I had to back through doorways until I unpacked it, (sorry. Really, I am). It's gorgeous. It's only about 1/2 inch longer than my wallet and not quite as thick and will hold 640GB of data. It connects to any PC in about 11 seconds via a cable that we've all got lying around. Perfect. I'm already loving it.

In fact, I've transferred several movies from my PC drive to it already. The transfer time could be better but then my commute time could be better, too. I think I have a new system in place but it's always subject to change; I'm going to keep the movies I want to keep on the external drive and keep the movies I haven't yet watched on my local drive until they're watched and then either deleted or moved to the external drive.

It might sound complicated and as I say I may need to switch things around, but for now "Zombie Strippers" is still on the local drive while "S.O.B" and "Wolverine" are on the external drive. (I know that some of you will recognize little difference there.)

But if this drive tests well, I'll buy another and set it up as a constant attachment so we can do regular backups of family pics and videos and whatever else comes to mind. Heck, I think the new drive is nearly twice as large (digit-wise) as the one in my computer! Why wouldn't I benefit from FINALLY setting up a backup routine?

And especially considering that my job is defining, tending to and checking on backups...

Shall I start with good news or less-than-good news? Oh, why do I ever bother asking - nobody really cares...

The less-than-good news is probably mostly good news to you chicks out there. Stuff is moving forward. And sideways. And delayed updates are still updates, right? I don't know what to make of what I newly know - and was confirmed recently.

I know, I know: you're now drowning in details. Sorry about that, but I'm honestly not sure of what's going on here and I've learned in my old age to keep my mouth shut until I have at least an idea of what I'm talking about, (that took 43 years). Just please bear with me until I have a firm footing or feel free to contact me personally and you may get a response explaining things further.

That is, if I can explain it; because I sometimes wonder myself...

I have this recurring dream where I imagine myself on the top floor of a house or apartment or a condo where I'm living with an old girlfriend: a woman I done wrong. It has an open wall, (meaning windows in the wall), over the stairs, an orange-ish-brown stained railing and reddish stained furniture in the room. It's a "roomy" room with plenty of space and aside from the bathroom it's the only room on the floor.

Oh, you could look out over the floors below by going to the railing near the windows and looking over the stairs, but who would need to unless you were waiting on breakfast (nearly) in bed or unless she woke you up because she heard a noise downstairs and wanted you to investigate? It was a crow's nest perch of a perfect, HUGE bedroom.

The furniture was Mahogany and a large dresser with a mirror sat on the far wall against the railing; you watched yourself as you went to the stairs. (It was generally understood that I put that dresser there in order to block as much sunlight as possible from entering the room through the windows behind it. There were other Mahogany dressers throughout the room but this was the one that would block the most sunlight, so there it went.)

The bed was on the far side of the room, (from the stairs, windows and mirrored dresser), and I slept on the far side of the bed. It was a bit of a walk from my side of the bed to the stairs, but on the up-side I could just take a left at her side of the bed, walk along it's edge and - after walking around her nightstand - go right into the bathroom. Short enough walk for 2:43, right?

As I recall, the carpet was lightly colored. Not white and I don't remember a pattern. Something like a light tan underneath it all. I think the bathroom and stairs were floored in wood, but they would've been in that same orange-ish hue as the railing. The bed was a large one with posts on each corner, (NOT a four-corner), but it was an oak color.

Can you see the room? Do you know the shape of the windows? Can you see the bathroom - because I've never yet been in it.

More importantly, can you draw it?

The good - nay - great news is that April will be mostly a good month for us. A VERY good month for us.

April is the first of this year's 3 paycheck months. Yes. Every other Friday this month we will receive paychecks. (yay!) Oh, and we won't have a mortgage payment this month. (yay!) Oh, and we'll get back almost one thousand dollars next week due to the refinance. (yay!) And we'll get eleven hundred from the county on about the 11^th. And then we're due back about fifteen hundred from the State for our tax return. (yay!)

Again -- I'm not trying to brag; not at all. But if you make money you will be able to save money if you stop spending it all. I realize it sounds difficult sometimes, but when you put first things first, first things happen.

I promise...

Have a great 'Good Friday' everyone. As much as we can appreciate that sentiment.

Today marks April 1st; April Fool's Day, (also a cousin's birthday but that's another story). It also marks the pagan new year which is supposedly where the pranking tradition started. And as mentioned, it's a time for pranking. The good news is that because I'll be working from home tomorrow I'm mostly immune from the jokes, except those that might come via phone or email. That's why I won't be answering either today.

HA! Joking already, the jokester that I am. I'll answer my emails and even - God forbid - my phone as my job requires. And I'll do everything else that my job requires, should it require it.

(Some lines are just for me.)

The thing is, in years past I used to kid and joke and prank around here on this, (and other), days but only stirred up scary questions from concerned friends. So I'm done with that for the time being and certainly for today. But happy April Fool's Day all the same. Go do your best...

So we had our Family Anniversary on Wednesday and I guess it all went well. The Wif and I stayed in bed longer than we would on an average Wednesday, (!!), (assume what you must), the kids got a breakfast bar and then "snacky breakfast" before we headed to the park. We spent better than an hour there filming, running, playing catch, kicking a soccer ball around and freezing important body parts off. We then went to grab lunch at Chick-Fil-A and then headed to a movie theater, (re-freezing those same important body parts along the way).

Of course, my youngest was quizzing us all along every leg of the day: "Where we going?" "What we going to do?" "Why are we stopping here?" "Is it over yet?" Criminey. I'm going to teach him to ask, "Daddy? Did you remember the duct tape?" Before we leave the house from now on...

We all had a mostly-grand time, (I nearly died from my asthma in the movie theater), and the rest of the family went for ice cream while I fought off death at home after all was done. Which is a shame because I could really go for a Peanut Buster Parfait right about now - since I've mostly recovered.

Upon their return they then rounded out the day with "snacky dinner;" mostly protein like cheese, nuts and beef jerky. Solid food. I sat in my chair and tried to not puke all over everything due to the heavy, intense coughs I was experiencing. It's a way of life for me and I certainly don't want to say that I'm getting used to it, but I kind of am. In a very weird way that I'm not all that proud of.

Upon "tuck in time," MLD said that she hoped we could always celebrate this day in a special way. I explained the truths of life to her - college, marriage, family, relocation - but promised that I would, forever and as long as I lived, at least call her on this day if we weren't together to celebrate it. She seemed pleased.

Heaven knows I was...

Things seem to be getting even stranger in our lives for reasons I still can't explain. I'd consider explaining it to people I know well and who promise not to put it all over Facebook and the Internet, but give me a day to think it over if you should make the request, eh? Still, the timing seems to be suspiciously, er... suspicious. Like usual, we'll see.

Saw "How To Train Your Dragon, or whatever it's called, today. First movie I've seen in a theater in at least 3 years, (just did the research: last movie I saw in a theater was released in early 2005). It wasn't bad as kids' films go and as a morality play it was actually pretty cool. Oh they get rather touchy-feely at the end but it kind of works on a level you wouldn't expect.

If you have a kid in that age range, go see it or at least put it in your queue. It's a worthwhile venture.