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So I got to watch a movie this week: "The Children." like much of what I watch it was lamer than lame. Still. I watched it, so it must've had a certain charm. Or something. And it sucked the wax tadpole, (that's not as dirty as it sounds, BTW)...

Thanksgiving was wonderful and we played our usual roles: The Wif made sure everything was as prepared as it could have been and I went about cleaning up afterwards. I collected the dishes, rinsed them and ran them through the dishwasher. The dishwasher which is about to die.

Yes -- we'll be getting a new dishwasher. Our current one seems to be puking on the dishes which can be a real problem, especially when you're washing dishes used by kids. Or adults. Or anyone. The truth is that I'm just sick of this thing, but I'm in no hurry to switch it out because I'll have to use pliers.

I hate pliers.

SERIOUSLY. I HATE Pliers. They stink of plumbing. Always. And I HATE working on plumbing.

Oh, I can do it -- and I'm the unpaid King when a problem comes up. But I'm the King all the same: need me to unplug a pipe? I can do that. Need me to run a new drain? I can do that. Install a tankless water heater? I'm about to do that.

But plumbing? It bites. Completely.

So we'll figure this out. Eventually. I'm sure that one thousand dollars later we'll have the tankless water heater here and I'll have to do the work. Fine. I'm the Dad and that's my job - I either write the check or do the work. Like I said, I'm the Dad here.

The other thing I've noticed this weekend is the fact that my keyboard died, (obviously I noticed, hopefully) and I had to buy a new keyboard. This should be news only to me - I realize - I went to Wally-World and bought a new keyboard, one with media buttons across the top which was kind of like the one I was replacing, so I picked it up and brought it home.

The installation was as simple as a I remember but as it sat on my desk it didn't look right. Keys were bigger and in a different location; the "del" key was as big as the "space" key and the BKSP key was as small as the "K" key.

You got me? Well, I'm using it now.

The good news is that when you allow yourself to stop thinking about it, things fall into place as much as you'd ever expect, (but whom would expect that?)

Oh, and what's left Well, my Brothers and I moved a bed, discovered we could get it back together and MLD said, "It's my BEST day ever!"

Geez, I hope so...

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Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

So I'm thankful for the men and the women in my life. What's left - the elevators I come across? Well, not exactly...

I'm grateful to our Founding Fathers who decided to listen to their hearts instead of rushing blindly ahead with what THEY thought was best, (we could use some of that wisdom today). In doing so, they went about creating the best country on God's Green Earth. No question.

And I'm certain of that. Just as certain as I am Thankful to have been born here. I mean, I can't imagine what might have happened had I been born in Iraq, Russia or BackThereIsStan. It's another world out there and this idea of "moral relativity" be damned; we're the best and we're the best for a reason. 54 million emigres per year - legal and otherwise - can't be wrong.

So I'm glad to have a country as great as I do, a family as great as I do, women as great as I do, a job as great as I do, friends as great as I do and everything else I've mentioned and haven't.

With and addendum: I'm Thankful for a God who created an imperfect collection of men, but then sent a Perfect Man in order to save them. I think that's the spirit of the day, but even if it's not it's the spirit of my heart.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!

So yesterday I shared a few pics of the 'men' in my life, but to say that isn't completely fair: The Knuckleheads aren't the only "men" in my life that I'm grateful for. There's my Israeli Brother Achee - whom we just saw on Saturday night - and my best friend of 3-plus decades, Dood, both of whom I am eternally grateful for. I can't imagine what I would be if not for their influence. So I'm very selfishly thankful for them.

Same with my Father; well, legally he's my step-father - and he'll be quick to tell you the same for reasons which should be obvious - but I refer to him as my Father. Or collectively to my Mother and he as, "The Folks."

Regardless of his legal status, he shaped the way I view the world in ways I only understood as I aged. And in ways I can probably only demonstrate through my children as they age. Fine with me -- I only hope I can carry on his teachings long enough now to show what he taught me then.

And there are other men in my life I'm thankful for: Dave Ramsey - who taught us our way out of debt and into a position where we currently have fully-funded college funds and over 17K in our bank account - as well as our Pastor and associate Pastor.

Fortunately, no pictures exist of me topless in bed with any of them because no such thing ever happened. (If you're looking for that sort of thing, you're at the wrong site.)

But the main thing I want to talk about today is the women in my life. Not just the passing influences - because who has all day to spend here - but the sustaining influences I've experienced...

First and foremost would be my Mother. Without her, well, most of you could spend another 3 minutes reading 'Dear Abby' online instead of this dribble. But beyond that, she's wonderful. Just wonderful. She's a friend to all those who deserve it and will - eventually - turn fatal against those who deserve that. (It was to my great amusement I noticed, when the adoption worker came by to review our final file, that my "rap sheet" was on one side of the file and my Mothers' led the other side. Mind you, it was nothing serious and far thinner than mine, but still amusing.)

I love you, Ma.

The other woman I'm thankful for is my lovely bride. And I'm going to take a cop-out here and claim My Lovely Daughter at the same time. For while they are two separate people, (and HOW!), and while My Wif came first, (hopefully), they are intertwined in ways I will never understand; they talk in their own language at times, go through homework together and sometimes leave the menfolk staring at each other wondering what the heck happened.

It's like there's an on-going hopscotch tournament here at the house: the wimmen-foke all know what's going on and the guys wander aimlessly trying to find out what's happened. And we can never figure it out. For example, MLD created a hopscotch "field" that contained 22 squares and upon my saying it was pretty darned impressive, (it was - loop and all), I didn't seem adequate to Mommy's standard.

But this doesn't matter now. I'm Thankful for my Lovely Daughter in ways I could never express; she's a dream, no matter how much she wants to fight it by taking shortcuts. And The Wif? Well, I've long given up on trying to measure how much she means to me. It's something I can't count in any way EVER on this planet.

She means too much to me...

This - as most of you already know - is Thanksgiving week. And like many of you, Thanksgiving used to be a throw-away Holiday for me/us; it was a Thursday off from which we'd separated from all family and just The Wif and I would sit at home, have a near-traditional-meal and watch football. And sleep in. And watch football. And eat a chicken dinner on our schedule.

Whatever THAT was...

In short, it was a day for ourselves. Our selfish selves. We weren't engaged, our families were, (relivedly, [it's a word now],) doing their own thing so we were free to do the same. I understand the reasons all the way 'round NOW, but still. Something was just wrong.

And it took the several blessings introduced into my way before I realized how important it was to give thanks for that which you had. Maybe your blessings aren't quite as loud or active or destructive or noticeable as these, but I certainly hope they're as peaceful...

(A scooby-Doo ghoul, IronMan and a scarier Hulk I couldn't imagine...)

(Two Knuckleheads sleeping in my bed. Loud, but cute.)

(The Men, asleep in the middle of the day. Let's hope the wimmen are doing the dishes like they're s'posed to!)

And of course, I thank you all. It means so much. Honestly.

THE HUMAN ANIMAL

We work like a horse.

We eat like a pig.

We like to play chicken.

You can get on someone’s goat.

We can be as slippery as a snake.

We get dog tired.

We can be as quiet as a mouse.

We can be as quick as a cat.

Some of us are as strong as an ox.

Some are as ugly as a toad.

We can be as gentle as a lamb.

Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.

Some of us drink like a fish.

We can be as proud as a peacock.

We can be as hungry as a hippo.

A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.

You can get a frog in your throat.

We can be a lone wolf.

But I’m having a whale of a time!

Have a great weekend - and don't forget to pick up a turkey!

I swear; you turn around and this bunch of incompetent clowns running the gubermint finds another way to screw things up. This week we learned that kalid sheik muhammed (klm) - and 4 other 9/11 terrorists - would be brought to New York to be tried in CIVIL FREAKIN' COURT! What kind of morons did you people elect?!? Are you serious? We're going to do this in public, with full exposure to public coverage and have to air ALL of the evidence we have against him.

If you think this is a good idea, consider this: some of WHAT we know will lead to knowledge of HOW we know it. Do you have any idea of the number of techniques - not to mention individual agents - this could expose? I mean, they're probably going to protect the identity of the jury, (duh), the judge and most likely the prosecutors. So why not protect our assets in the field by shielding their identity by keeping the results of their work confidential from the public?

And can you imagine the number of FOIA requests the American Criminal Liars Union will be filing from stem to stern on this deal? These supposed "tree-huggers" will lay waste to the entire tree population of the Northwest with their filings and requests!

Of course, the "best" part of this whole thing is that klm had already agreed to plead guilty before a military tribunal and had requested the death penalty. A request the previous - serious - administration would have gladly complied with had the LEFTY LAWYERS NOT CONSTANTLY SUED TO BLOCK IT! These guys want it both ways.

And I'm sure that nobody saw/heard/will read about the AG's testimony on Capital Hill but it was absolutely pathetic. Deer-in-the-headlights pathetic. The-little-o-without-a-teleprompter pathetic. Seriously, it was that bad; the guy didn't have an answer for anything beyond the "what's your favorite color?" question from the other lefties. When pressed on something he stammered and stuttered like my first car. He didn't even know - the sitting AG, mind you - whether another enemy combatant had ever been tried in civilian court, (answer: no).

Let's face facts here: this is simply a political move that the lefties think will keep them in power. How? By allowing them to publicly air details about "Bush's torture policy." Ridiculous AND pathetic. Any sane American should be quite happy over the intelligence we got out of this guy and the number of planned attacks on our soil we were able to stop during the last 8 years.

But I guess that national security concerns just aren't Hope-N-Changey enough these days...

And of course the other issue is this stupid, needless power grab they're calling "health" "care" "reform." The house passed some monstrosity that would end private insurance and give the gubermint full access to your bank accounts - among other idiotic ideas - and harry reid is promising to submit a motion for cloture on a bill that's twice as big to the senate this week. And only Heaven knows what's going to be in there because not a one of them is going to actually READ the damn thing. After all, why should they actually DO their jobs? That's SOOO "little guy..."

I'm just amazed by the number of Americans who think this idea is a good one, but I'm taking heart by the fact that approval numbers have fallen through the floor. Maybe - just maybe - we are collectively starting to wake up. I mean, how can the gubermint cover EVERYONE, leave Medicare alone and DROP costs? Anyone with even an iota of financial sense or even a whiff of common sense knows that's simply impossible. No matter how often they repeat it.

And then there's the ridiculously simple approach these idiots take to foreign affairs and that can pretty well be summed up as 'take our friends for granted and yield to our enemies.' Neville Chamberlain - call your office!

I wouldn't bother so much with this if they were just wrong on one thing, but they are just so consistently wrong in EVERYTHING! Well, I take that back; they've mastered manipulating/fooling the LSM. They'd eat this garbage and call it ice cream if that's what the lefties told them it was.

In much more localized news I called Dish Network today. The robot asked me for my responses but it made the mistake of telling me I could say "representative" at any time to talk to a real human. It only took two robot errors for me to pull that trigger and I eventually spoke with a live person, (she sounded cute, too, so that helped).

She started by telling me to unplug the suspect boxes and then plug them back in. Great, I thought, I've already done that. Worried that this would go nowhere I tried to be patient. She guided me through the menus and I was convinced she was just looking for the serial numbers and half started imagining another fantastic box in the house, which would of course require television upgrades. So there could be an upside here!

As she walked me through the signal acquisition and system setup and what-not I realized where she was going: we were going to test the switch. OF COURSE! The dish was changed for the new box -- how was the receiver going to know that unless it checked it out?!?

We're up and running again, and I LOVE the new box. Ultra-sweetness has ensued.

We had a tech at the house today. The good news is that this is one of the days I telecommute so it was short business to let the guy in, point him in the direction of what needed fixin' and let him go to it. I could do my part in three minutes, (without counting paying the bill), and get out of his way. And that's what I did.

The bad part is that The Wif had also taken THIS ENTIRE WEEK off, (someone please remind me of that on Thursday), so she was here to deal with the tech as well. But it wasn't entirely bad news since the guy was foreign and didn't talk to her. And I'm not kidding; he said "Hello" to her and nothing else as best I could tell and then all his dealings were with me. I don't know if it was a culture thing or if it was simply a "he's the guy" thing or if the fact that I was the one here asking him questions first set him on that path. But he only talked to me.

For the record, we had a Dish upgrade done and I STILL can't tell you what all is going on. We have the receiver downstairs and are still able to watch something different upstairs. 2 rooms, 2 TVs, 2 remotes -- one receiver. I should understand this, but I don't. In spite of the fact that the installer explained it to me at least 3 times while he was here (obviously).

What happens is that the signal comes in through the dish, through the cable, into the box - which changes the channel - back out of the box, through the cable and up into the other TV. Where it appears on channel 60 and can be changed via the secondary remote in that room. It seems to be working. Well, that part of it, anyway.

After things were all set and working I realized how infrequently I actually watch television in the bedroom. Now and then sure, but mostly I'm watching/listening to something via my PC. Like right now, as I have "Room 205" on in the background. It's all movies, old online TV or Internet radio; I really don't watch the TV upstairs.

The problem is, I DO tend to have the TV on in the kitchen as I'm going about my duties. I like the noise and sometimes you can even find something interesting, (anyone want to bet whether that gets easier given the free 3 months of HBO we got with the upgrade? Didn't think so), and since we ended up with an unplanned "Dish Upgrade" after it was all over, the old receivers don't work now. THAT'S a real problem.

The funny thing is, the guy at Dish was tripping all over himself to sell me on an HD package and equipment. No interest here, thankyouverymuch. He ended up giving us the receiver for free, the installation for free, (nothing against the installer - great guy and I should have thought to check the old receivers), the upgrade for free, a waiver against our not having a phone line available, 3 months of free HBO & Showtime and a $5 per month savings because we're using only 3 boxes now instead of 4, and all we really wanted was to replace remotes that were no longer working properly.

...

So I'll get to find time to call "Sam" (yeah, right), again tomorrow and ask for someone to check the line or for another equipment upgrade. At the going rate, we should have the Hope Diamond delivered here by week's end...

Well, I held off talking about it at first because I was under a pretty strict self-imposed media blackout this weekend and once I finally DID hear the news I found it nearly impossible to believe. But now that I know what's what, it's time to comment...

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING?!? Well, that answer's obvious but we'll get to that. More importantly, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING?!? The AG has said that he'll order the 9/11 terrorist organizers/accomplices brought to New York for trial in civilian courts? What?!? WHY?!? (Again an obvious answer, but we'll have to add that to the list)

So this bozo is saying that the military trials - the ones used to try OUR OWN military people, like the ones at Abu Grahb - aren't good enough, strong enough or reliable enough to use for the scumbags who planned or participated in the attacks on this country on September 11? These "people" are somehow deserving of a public show-trial where they'll be allowed to air their insane beliefs before television cameras, bring every piece of evidence against them - including those that would otherwise compromise intelligence operations - into the open and grant them of the same rights of the Americans they decided to kill.

Great plan, moron. Let's bring 'em here and let our enemies know EXACTLY how we discovered what we discovered and when we discovered it. Couldn't be anything wrong with THAT plan, right?

And this is FAR before we get to the idea that having these murderous scumbags on the mainland might be a threat to anyone here. I mean, it's not like that has happened before, right? RIGHT?!? 1993 anyone? Anyone?!? Bueller? Bueller?!?

This is a disgusting, political move designed to put 2 men on trial: George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Nobody else is under attack here.

Well, we are: but they wouldn't notice that...

I'm trying to be honest here but I have to say that my boys are quickly dominating the dojo. Now I realize that that sounds as if they've already entered puberty but what I'm trying to say is that they are really excelling at Karate. While they're still white belts they have two stripes so they're about to test for yellow. But there's a problem...

I've witnessed one of their orange belts in action. Maybe they're a special case, (I'm guessing so), but if they just push students through, what's the belt worth? If they're orange because of a disability, I could almost understand it, but what are the parents thinking? They get something because they're unable? It seems to go against the spirit of the thing, frankly. But maybe that's just me.

(I dislike grade-inflation)

I saw a movie tonight that wasn't complete crap. But OH - more about that tomorrow...

Some nights, we have books - where Mommy reads a book or maybe two to the kids and some nights we have "videos" where the kids watch (APPROVED) videos on the TV via the computer. (It's a really cool connection. Still.) The kids seem to prefer the videos, but get to sleep faster once they're read to.

Tonight was a book night, so I hope to enjoy it. Thank you all...

Uggh. And so another week begins. As usual I have no reason to complain but will probably find something. Actually, we had what I would consider a pretty darned good, long if cold weekend; I spent most of Friday alone with my littlest (so far) Knucklehead - which is always an experience -- the kid's an absolute characer. Once reunited as a family and following dinner we settled in for that fine family Friday tradition: movie night.

In the case of this past Friday it was a DVD billed as "Dora's Halloween," which should be illegal to purchase. Calling it dreck would be an insult to dreck. Not only is it NOT a Halloween movie (way too late, yes I realize), it's just a collection of her shows that I think we already own. And how she yells! And the stupid plot-points that my BLOODY DOG could pick out by now; "Who can we ask how to find the [house/building/field/cemetery in question]?" Oh, I don't know - how about the nearest stranger with candy so we can end this early?

And "Boots?" I mean, there might be some small appeal to owning a monkey in theory but who would really want a poo-flinging creature in their home, (I'm leaving The Knuckleheads out for purposes of this conversation)? You might be able to teach him a trick or two but talking to a map and locating unknown places probably aren't among those. Get a GPS, already. And that stupid fox? That's why I own several 9mm's. KABLAMMO!

At any rate, I had both Knuckleheads on Saturday as the girls went to Grandma's and we had a fine time. Went to Wally World and got some manly items - washer fluid, wiper blades - and returned home. We waited for the ladies and ordered some pizza. Blackjack. Good stuff.

Now, I should pause in case you've forgotten this, but when the weather turns "bad" and snowy I like to just hunker down, stay home and take it easy. It's not that I'm afraid of the weather or the roads - heck, I'm an excellent driver with a big truck - I just like to hang out and stay collected as a family. Maybe make some cookies. You know, Norman Rockwell stuff.

So that's what we did on Sunday. We missed church due to weather and highway closure and hung out at home. I made pancakes and sausage, (assuring that I didn't have to save any for The Wif after she came downstairs), and we ate. We then played. They played. I watched football. Well, at least I tried to although The Broncos didn't give me much reason to put any effort into it. We hunkered.

About mid-day the kids and I went out and shoveled the walk. Interesting: the neighbor across the street was having a party and the neighbor to our north was out shoveling too. We met in the middle and she said that she needed a snowblower, but, "who can afford one?" Three thoughts: yes, highways were closed but that wasn't due to 2 feet of snow; we just got enough to make the roads sloppy and cover the lawns and sidewalks. Second, we're charged with shoveling about 20 feet of sidewalk at best. Need a snowblower for that? Heck, you're not even forced to shovel the driveway if you don't want to, (I always do).

Third, "who can afford one?" What - a couple of hundred bucks for a small snowblower is outside of her reach? Well, she's a strange one with strange hours and I would imagine strange income. But still - 2-3 hundred dollars? My KIDS can afford that. I'm sorry if I sound insensitive, but who couldn't buy a small snowblower? It's not like she needs a tractor or something.

And just as an incentive I'd like to add that D-Man won a "bet" recently - have I said this? - where he and his siblings got to share $100 because he correctly guessed the amount of money in the quarter bank. Strangely enough, it was $100. I'll have to open up an investigation into that...

But they didn't see the money yet and won't until they get their next statement. Yes, they get paper statements and although The Knuckleheads aren't yet completely on board yet, they're starting to get it: we have money in the bank. Same way with their college funds; they have some idea of having some money for something, somewhere. We'll keep working on that.

As for MLD, she understands that something comes after school and that it costs money and that Mommy & I have started taking care of that for her. (The idea of having two-thousand three hundred dollars waiting for her seems to impress her. Just wait until she gets the bill for the first semester!)

Along those same lines -- -- IT'S ALMOST TAX SEASON!

Everyone sleep well tonight. Especially those who voted... well, you know...

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.

At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"

Well, some are just for me, I suppose..

Today marks the day when I'm married to a hmmmm-ty hmmrrr year old woman; that's right, it's the birthday of my beloved bride. Aside from the ceremonial presentation of the gifts and perhaps a cupcake with a candle, we have nothing "special" planned. This of course confuses the children.

The Knuckleheads have been asking what kind of party Mommy's going to have - expecting the answer to be Transformers or Iron Man, I imagine - and not understanding the answer: none. MLD has been saying that since it's Mommy's birthday she gets to decide what we're going to do. Mommy's answer has been, "nothing." Kids don't seem to understand the nature of adults' birthdays.

Of course, I'm a large part of the problem. Since I usually don't care to do anything for my birthday that's kind of the mindset I assume everyone else has about their birthdays, so I'm not the party planner. Now it could be true that The Wif really doesn't care about doing something for her birthday or it could be the case that she "caught" the attitude from me or it could also be true that she knows better than to expect me to do something.

Either way, shame on me, I suppose.

But one thing is certain: I love this woman. I'm grateful to her for the fact that she makes me better than I think I can be, (although for my part I never feel as though it's enough), and for the fact that she loves me and puts up with me and has allowed me a place in her life.

I love you, Hun. Happy Birthday.

To care for him
who shall have borne the battle
and for his widow, and his orphan.

THANK YOU.

Thank you all.

So a few things I missed while I was taking some down time. Probably the second-most-important was the off-year elections. While democrats and the media, (REDUNDANCY WARNING!), downplayed the event beforehand as "inconsequential" and "not mattering" because there were mostly local issues and only a couple of "big" races involved; it wasn't going to be a comment on the president, congress nor the issues. No big thing.

Then, democrats and the media, (I WARNED YOU ABOUT THAT!), couldn't rush out fast enough to claim success in those elections. Yes, the very same ones they said didn't matter, now seemed to matter because they won a 3-way, turbulent race in New York - but nothing else. Really? It meant nothing but you won -- ... -- by not winning? We all remember our third grade playground, right?

The truth is that things DO seem to be "changing" in this country, just not in the way that so many people had hoped: Americans are starting to notice the incredible bloat the gubermint is undergoing and many don't seem to be entirely pleased about it - among other things. The very fact that the teaparties are drawing such huge crowds of people who would normally never attend a protest at all - just compare them to the G20 protesters - is very, very telling.

Oh, and while we're on the subject, if you're one of those who call the participants, "teabaggers," that means that you're the "teabaggee." That's right; YOU get the sack...

The most important event I "missed" is the terrorist attack at Fort Hood. The problem is, there are all too many angles to this thing to expand on fully. So I'll do some bullet-points:

• The 'media' is 'reporting' that there's no way to know the killer's motivation. How about 'allahu akbar' as a start?
• Further, the speech he reportedly gave which was supposed to be on a medical issue that turned out to be him spouting about accepting islam? Does that matter?
• The fact that he was increasingly handing out korans to people around him -- does that matter?
• He started giving away his possessions before the attacks. Anything?
• He tried or succeeded in contacting al-qaeda. You know, those 19 guys who decided to fly first-class despite all evidence to the contrary? Ring a bell?
• Posting on jihadi websites?
• And the Army promoting him to the rank of Major even though they (may have) suspected better? Is it possible to lay that at the feet of political correctness?

Just a quick list, but I think it's a good start. Of course the best part of it all is that this monster who refused to even be photographed with women, (bet you haven't heard that), was shot and wounded and had his killing spree ended by... -- ... a woman.

I firmly believe in capital punishment, but I hope this evil creature gets to live with that knowledge for a little while first.

...

...

And now, cheery kid news!

My Knuckleheads are in karate. Or taking karate. Or learning karate. Whichever is proper. At any rate, they're becoming lethal. This is an interesting development because D-Man is not only taking to it, but becoming quite good at it. He is often chosen as the class' lead student for the session and is showing signs that will put him on a quick path to a black belt. I'm very proud of him. I'm not trying to live through him, but I'm very proud of him.

Not to discount Bink's efforts; he's doing a fine job and after just a few weeks his skills have gone through the roof. They're both terrific but surprising on a certain level. Following their lessons they're both much more respectful and under control. Which is kind of what we were shooting for in the first place.

They shout, "Yes sir!" and "No Ma'am!" with gusto. They ask permission. They almost listen. It's remarkable. It's also unfortunate that their classes are on Monday and Tuesday nights because there's a long span between Tuesday and Monday, so they tend to regress.

A lot.

We'll need to practice together more often to fill that gap and since it's helping to "un-rust" me maybe I'll be more inclined to do so. The interesting thing is that MLD is not only begging to join a class, she's practicing along with the boys, only in the audience and not on the mat. And she's actually quite good, for not actually participating in the practice.

The problem - and fear - is that the boys are learning too much. Too many skills and not as much discipline, that is. For example, they've learned that we have a device in their room that monitors the sound in there. They also know that if they try to turn it off, we're immediately alerted as to that fact. So they're trapped - so to speak.

As a result, they have learned to be quiet, (the only time they ever are), as they leave the bed and their room. We have found them in the hallway, the bathroom and sometimes - rarely - climbing back into bed after being discovered. So they've learned to avoid our detection device.

Add that to their new Karate skills and tonight I realized that - HOLY KREP! - WE'RE RAISING NINJAS! Like I need that!

OK. So I can't explain the recent time off from this site. Not fully, anyway; it's just that not only has the news become, well, ... there's still news out there but it only seems to change by degree and it doesn't shift analysis any. That's pure DEATH to what I try to do sometimes around here. pelosi wants to take over one-sixth of the economy one day and one-seventh of it the next. See? The argument against that sort of nonsense doesn't change due to an increased gain in the grab of power.

Another-but-completely-related fact is the changes in the terms of the "health" "care" "reform" bill: private coverage will be forced out by 2013 - no! 2015; the coverage "penalty" will be $1,700 - no! $2,400 per family per year; everyone's data will be stored in a central database - no! - it will be stored in local databases, which will then be collected by a central database; and so on...

See what I mean? It's like dealing like a porcu-rattlin-badger-opotomus: "It'll stick you! No, it'll bite you! No, it'll scratch you! No, it'll trod you flat!!" Well, no matter the real threat you're actually facing, the only real, true, certain thing is that you should LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE! And you can quote me on that.

And foreign affairs are at a near-low as well, (having only the miserable jimmah carter to thank for building the floor of the root cellar), as we continue to bow to dictators and tyrants as we chastise our friends. Again, how sad is the situation if the French are acting more American than the Americans?

So there we are: what good to rage against the tempest? So few want to hear - much less agree or are open to agreement - what I have to say about these things. Minds are set. Health insurance is no longer needed, thinking about America's best interests is SOOO! 1950's and the gubermint should be running everything from banks to car companies. And then from XXX to YYY...

This weekend I received a rare and strange honor: I got to address the entire congregation of our church. The subject was of Biblical adoption and tied to earthly adoption. Somehow, my name popped into the Padre's mind and I was called to step up - literally, to the front of the church - and give a brief address concerning the subject. I naturally agreed and started mentally composing my speech. I finally - and in true fashion - put it on paper the night before.

Several divergent arcs follow.

I knew the speech. I mean, I KNEW it; I'd spent so long rehearsing it, saying it outloud to the dogs and the cats that I was sure where I was going, what I would say and even rehearsed the ad-libs, ("just take a minute - but one of the Pastor's minutes - which are of course 984 seconds long!"). This would be a killer speech, even if the Padre only expected a couple of minutes out of me.

But I had to check with MLD before I said anything, (unfortunately, I neglected to check with her before I agreed to give the speech, but could have opted out if she disagreed. Yes, she holds the power in this limited area because she holds the memories). We talked it over and she showed some concern. I thought, "well, if I don't speak, I don't speak. Something else will come up." I eventually learned that her concern was that I would be speaking out against her Birth-Parents. Sufficiently assured that wasn't going to be the case, she then asked if she could come stand with me. I told her I'd check.

We got to Church and I was reminded that I was expected to usher that day. OK, I could do that and still be a part of the service. I met with the Padre and cleared up what was to happen and where I was supposed to be when. It all meshed, so why not? And then The Bink lost sight of me he tried to find me. Apparently he ran up and down the aisle calling, "DADDY!" and when some people tried to point out Mommy instead, he wasn't happy with that.

So once he found me I had a co-Usher...

As the service started I took The Bink to class and went back to my station. A tribute to Vets - instead of the usual Worship Music - started the service. After an opening prayer I found my way back to my family's chosen seats and gathered D-Man to go to class.

A moment to breathe. The Padre had read what I wanted to say and didn't slap me. I handed the paper to The Wif and she didn't slap me. So I already had 2. I reviewed what I'd written and noticed that people were un-stacking chairs to hold the crowd: they had spilled out into the lobby.

Now, our sanctuary holds about 100 people. And there were about that many chairs being unloaded in the lobby. People! People! Crowds! I would learn later that 160 people were there yesterday. And I was expected to talk to them.

As it turns out, I HATE talking to crowds. One-on-one, I'm great, (some have even said "charming"). One-on-four I can handle. One-on-six/eight? Well, under the right circumstances I could manage. But One-on-160? Are you kidding me?!?

So The Padre called on me, I pulled out my printed speech and said:

Many of you know “our story” and if you don’t, just ask someone next to you, but the short version is that my wife and I fostered and then adopted a sibling set of young children. How young? Well, 8 months, 20 months and nearly 5 years old, (I try never to say “between 8 months and 5 years old” because it excludes my son who's in the middle). (By the way, I was 484 months old at the time.)

What almost none of you know is the back-story: my Wife & I met years earlier when we worked together. I was a computer worker, she was a computer destroyer and at the time I was already married and a father. See, my “starter wife” came with 2 daughters from previous marriages.

As you don’t have to guess, that marriage fell apart and I lost complete contact with those girls – who I still consider to be my daughters and have sporadic contact with via the Internet. They were torn from me to the point that I couldn’t even legally drive within 100 yards of the school they attended. It was not a happy time but as is so often God’s plan, it led to happy consequences…

The Wif and I were “magically” reconnected and started dating. As these things go we talked about the future and as one of us imagined “becoming” married the other, the other considered the thought of “falling into” marriage.

Most of you are wrong about your speculation…

Early on WIF told me that she’d always wanted to adopt. Based on my previous experience I told her – and I’m certain we both remember the exact phrase I used – “I will never again raise another man’s child."

Somewhere afterwards God changed my head and my heart and most days I’m grateful for that change. (Oh C’mon – every parent has that time when they look down at their child and think, “now I know why some animals eat their young.”)

But most of all, I’m grateful to God for the fact that HIS plan was not mine. He could have looked at me and said, “you don’t belong to me.” Or, “you’re not one of mine.” Or, “you’re not of my blood.”; I’ll never have you in my home.

Instead, he not only told me he’d have me, but that he’d adopt me and that he’d do it through his very blood.

And I wanted to puke. I was in upheaval and I wanted to puke. I was mad for having eaten breakfast but then quickly reminded myself that I wanted to puke starting with last week's dinner, (whatever that was). While speaking I strained to speak slowly - the major fault with public speeches, (aside from instant death, I was assuming) - but the whole time, for a short time before and a long time afterward I wanted to puke. Puke and puke. Mr. Cresote puke. Soil the carpet so nobody would ever trod the soil again, puke.

And later, during the back-slapping, hand shaking, thank you's, well done's and surprising non-puking, I learned that The Wif had told a few of the hens that I hated speaking to groups. And while holding it down, I was surprised; she knew that part of me better than I did. I guess I don't speak publicly very often and so I have a short memory/willingness to retain said memory. As a result, I imagine myself part clean robin williams and part James Bond on stage. I affect many accents and mannerisms as I practice - and the dogs may well be impressed.

But when it comes time? I want to puke. Congrats (perhaps) to The Wif for knowing that...