TERROR ALERT LEVEL:

This krep was posted:

Septober 2009
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13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30

Older stuff...

— 2009 —

August 2009

July 2009

June 2009

Same guy, different krep...
Father Knows

Things to put in your head...

Friends...

Everyday reads...

Read on his terms...
Lileks

Stuff for your ears...

 

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My Amazon Wish List

All commentary Copyright Stonestead.com, 2007. No part may be reproduced without permission. All statements within are the express view of the author and not necessarily those of his employeer, his clergy, his spouse, his friends or even himself.

(But first, two things: Happy Birthday +1, bro. Planned on calling you tonight but then I remembered that you're halfway around the globe now. Then again, if I stay up another couple of hours I can probably catch you during breakfast.
Yeah. Not gonna happen.

Secondly, did it strike anyone else that twice as many people have tried Kentucky Grilled Chicken than are currently without health insurance? I'm not sure what it means, but let it stew for a bit and maybe you'll come up with something.)

First movie is Cougar Club. I'm not even all the way through this movie but I feel safe in reviewing it anyway: pure, utter, vapid dreck. I was surprised to find Joe Mantegna in such a kreppy film but I suppose everyone needs cotton candy from time to time.

Here's the recipe: 2 pounds Risky Business, 1 1/2 Cups Van Wilder, 1 Cup Class, 1 Tbsp Animal House and a dash of The Graduate. How could they go wrong? Well, they not only manage it, they excel at it. Predictable, stereotypical plot, lame acting and dialog that may as well have been burned onto a 2X4 which they then clubbed you to death with.

Oh, I'll finish watching it, but only because I know how to hold a grudge. I'm too invested in this stupid thing to let it win. Don't you make the same mistake.

The other movie was from Japan but I wouldn't exactly call it a "horror" movie. It's more like a "surreal drama" named, "Death Note" and it was very, very good. The premise is that a college student finds a notebook which promises, (instructions written on the inside cover in English; I found that interesting), to kill whomever's name is written on the pages. Skeptical, he experiments on a convicted killer who was about to be set free. Needless to say, he's a bit surprised the next morning when the guy turns up dead from a heart attack. He tries again, with the same result. Being altruistic, he decides to use the notebook in order to craft a perfect society by eliminating all the criminals.

Along the way he is introduced and accompanied by a 'shinigami' - "death god" - who coaches him and gives him some strange form of assistance or collaboration. The shinigami is a pure CGI character and I can't remember when I've seen it done better. Clown face with barracuda teeth, wings, broad shoulders and ridiculously tiny waist. He is visible only to those whom have touched the death note. This causes some interesting interactions as the main character, Light, must allow some others to touch the pages as he carries out his plans.

But as we all know, power corrupts and absolute power is really, really cool, (something like that), and eventually "Light" isn't so much. Things twist and turn and in the end, they ended up making a sequel. It's in my queue right now and I should get it here on Thursday. Of course they hype it like nobody's business: In the end, only one can stand!

Then they made a third movie featuring one of the major characters, so you get a pretty good idea of whose name made it into the book in the second movie.

I'll watch all of them, though. Good stuff.

Well, even though mister To-Watch-Me-Is-To-Love-Me continues to be a very rich, daily, vein of unending material, I'm getting sick of it and that means that all of you have already given up on reading this site. I'm not vain enough to check my site ratings, but I'm pretty sure that's the case. (Although I think I should get extra credit for working both homophones of "vein" into this 'graph.) So instead? I'll just complain in general about my life - as if I had cause to do so...

The great uncertainty surrounding the little one is about to drive me off my nut, as the English say; I'm having trouble sleeping and that pretty much affects everything else. I'm having trouble concentrating at work, but that's not ALL that unusual as a baseline and add to that the fact that we've rolled out new PCs and are starting to migrate all sites to the new servers, PLUS it seems I'm the only one who has the "magic touch" with some fancy new piece of hardware, (I'll have to create an SOP for that, but it'll save until the last one), and it can get pretty hectic.

The good news? I saved the agency untold thousands of dollars. The bad? They'll probably buy the other software anyway and all my work will be for naught other than a stop-gap measure. Oh well; it's my job to preserve data and I can sleep easy knowing I've not only completed my job but excelled at it. Except for that not sleeping part, that is.

But I'm effected in other ways as well. Simple off-the-budget-but-not-break-the-bank things that I'd been considering now that we're beyond "flush" make me stammer. Should I? We can afford it. But will we need every dime for the addition The Wif wants to build should we need it? I mean, The Wif calls me from the store to see if she can spend fifteen bucks on a backpack for MLD. She called the other day to ask if she could spend seventy on a new vacuum. No doubt these are the kind of problems every husband wishes he had and I'm not complaining about The Wif. I'm not really sure I'm even complaining at all, frankly.

(Do you want to know what kind of a selfish bastard I am? For years now I've been pining for a new gun. Now, you say, you just bought a new gun. What are you, my Wif?!? Yes, I bought a small, un-cheap Beretta .22 in order to introduce my children to guns, their care, safety and target shooting. I'm talking about a new gun for me: a 4" S&W model 686. It's a stainless .357 with rubber grips that can also chamber and fire .38 rounds. It's a beaute. I use to fire one all the time - except, unfortunately - I was aiming at the paper target instead of behind me where I should have been. But that's a story for another day...)

So, there we - or rather I - am. The only thing certain is uncertainty. Like usual, I guess...

Tonight was coined a new Stoneism: Shark cheese. As I was pounding away up here tonight trying to finish some things that didn't get done at work today, my oldest boy came up and asked me if I wanted bacon on my cheeseburger and what kind of cheese I wanted. I told him no bacon and I'd like sharp cheese. I didn't want to throw too much of him by saying, "New York style white sharp cheddar," so I kept it simple. Sharp. I knew that Mommy would understand that.

Well, a couple of minutes later Mommy and D-Man came upstairs and D-Man was a bit apoplectic. It seems that he was quite upset that he couldn't convey my message to Mommy in a way that she could understand. Mommy heard "shark cheese" and couldn't put it all together. After calming and reassuring the child I finished up and went downstairs for dinner.

The shark cheese was delicious.

The Knuckleheads started karate tonight. Just the basics - crescent kicks, forward punches, as well as some rituals - and they took to it like cats to a nap. D-Man already has great form, (for a 4 year old who's just had his first lesson), but Bink has a problem: the cone they practice crescent kicks over comes up to his belly button. One of my first thoughts was that we'd bring in the smaller, toy cone we have downstairs for him to practice his kicks on, but I got over it quickly. After all, if the little guy has to kick higher at the very beginning he should be able to kick that much higher as he progresses.

The got their uniforms and I can't wait to see how they look in them. Next Monday will be week number two, (of four), and I'm certain we'll continue beyond that. Both boys are natural jocks but it all seems to come effortlessly to D-Man. He watches and tries it twice and he's got it. No matter what "IT" is. They're just a wonder to watch.

Except when they're jumping from the couch to the chair. That's why they have to sit on the floor for the time being. Unless they karate the crap out of me in the meantime...

We - as a country - MUST get out of the un and I find it incomprehensible that more Americans can come to a different conclusion. I mean, if we pulled out the thing would collapse like a souffle being baked in an aerobics studio. Do we need any more proof of its utter uselessness? And if I'm wrong, I'll admit it: if we pull out and it continues in its current fashion, well, it would still be a failure but I'd admit I was wrong.

So let's just give it a try, shall we?

The best part of all this is that while prosecution attorneys have to go through discovery, investigation and the work of putting together the evidence, in this case the "defendant" is providing all the evidence necessary to prove the case...

Observe the fiasco that was last week. The 'rock star' got up and apologized (AGAIN) for all the ills America has perpetrated against the world throughout history. Why, our country is so bad that there's NO WAY we'd EVER elect a black person to be our President! Err, um. Forget that last bit. (BTW, isn't it funny how when he's citing our sins against the world he goes all the way back to the Jamestown Settlement, but when he's (FINALLY) defending our country he says, 'just look at all we've accomplished in the past 9 months?' This guy sings in one key: me-me-me. 9 months? Anyone ever hear of the Civil War? World War II? The Berlin Airlift? I know it may shock some of you - and it certainly would him - to learn that the world existed before The One descended upon us riding a golden unicorn atop a silver cloud.)

As if Mr Chairman wasn't enough, all of his cronies got up to bash the U.S. too. Buoyed by the idea that they could get away with even more than they had originally planned to, they apparently re-wrote their speeches and then rambled on in great detail, saying pretty much the same thing the little o did. But with their own rhetorical flourishes, natch.

One after next, thuggish dictators like gaddafi, ahmadinejad and chavez got up and said pretty much what our president did, but they were more "edgy." And we all know how much "edgy" counts for these days, right?

But did anyone catch Netanyahu's response? BRILLIANT. It's everything John Bolton would have said and more. Strong, forceful. He looked evil in the eye and didn't blink. Wish we still had that around here. I mean, the Canadians walked out on ahmadinejad's speech. The Canadians are more American than America?!? Yes. It appears so. Sadly, perhaps, but its good to know the spirit is being kept alive somewhere.

I'm still trying to figure out what exactly is going on with this country and in particular our "dear leader." (For those of you who don't know, that's the title preferred by people like mao, stalin, pol pot - you know, all of those celebrated socialist dictators.) I mean, is he a bumbling idiot or is he actually working at an agenda? Either one seems plausible. Sure he's an egomaniac - perhaps even a megalomaniac - but what's he up to, aside from 27,849 speeches since taking office?

He removes missile defense, leaving our allies in Eastern Europe naked to the whims of the former kgb director and his stoolie puppet. He sides with the ousted would-be dictator in Honduras, (maybe he's looking for tips), he ignored the uprisings in Iran following the recent sham of an election, (sound like another president we know?), At EVERY TURN this guy seems to lean AGAINST freedom and in favor of the dictators. I just don't get it.

And I don't think I ever will. I've been immunized...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person replied, "Yes, but you started it."

Name the Leg..

A student needed an extra small diversified course to fill the requirements of his graduation. He picked a course on Zoology.

Then came a test time. The professor handed out a sheet of paper with only four pairs of bird legs drawn. He then asked the class to name the four wild birds from their legs.

The student kept staring and staring at legs and was getting nowhere. His agitation and anger grew to a boiling point. Ultimately, he got up rushed to the teacher in the front and smashed the test on the teacher's desk.

"How can you give a stupid test like this?" He blasted at the teacher.

The annoyed teacher looked up and said: "You boy, you have flunked the test. What's your name?"

The angry student pulled up his pants to the knee and yelled: "Look here and tell me what my name is!"

Well, well. I heard the other day, (heck - it could've been today given the current state of my scrambled brain), that some banks are 'reforming' the way they handle (i.e. charge) overdraft fees. And MAN - let me tell you - given the nature and scope of these shocking changes, they're certainly putting all that sweet, sweet stimulus money to good use! Some early examples, others are sure to follow once they find another bank that's still in business...

Wells Fargo and Wachovia customers will not be charged a fee if a customer overdraws an account by $5 or less, and will only charge that fee up to four times a day. WOW! Now THAT's really something! I'd bet customers are sending bouquets of flowers to bank headquarters, (an empty Sears refrigerator box in an alley), in gratitude. They'd just better be sure not to go into overdraft doing so!

Over at JPMorgan Chase they say they won't charge fees when accounts are overdrawn by $5 or less. The maximum number of fees per day will be lowered to three from six. Another $5 grace! I'm sensing a theme here, and that theme is I've NEVER, EVER gone into overdraft to the tune of, oh, $3.86. And only charged three times per day? WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

A more generous Bank of America says customers will no longer be charged overdraft fees when a customer's account is overdrawn by less than $10 a day. A $35 fee will still be levied if the account isn't brought into balance within five days. Well bless their little pea-picking hearts, as someone I never knew never said.

Look, I'm having some fun with this, but it really has a de-stabling influence on these banks via the law of unintended consequences, (the new motto on the Presidential Seal). These banks rely heavily on these fees for their operation. They've become a part of each year's projected budget and while I've never seen their budgets, I'd bet those numbers are substantial.

Now, I'd argue that many if not most of these big banks have used the funds foolishly by expanding too quickly and trying to build a branch on every corner. I'd also argue that they took greater risks in investing in some risky ventures. I realize this is not exactly a real stance on the outside of the fringe, but my next one will be. To the bankers, at least.

Aside from what I mentioned, they could have scaled back on the freakin' furnishings for a start. Have you been inside a bank lately? Opulence that would make a Caesar blush. (Fortunately, we're at a credit union and they seem to understand that I'm not there to feel the leather chairs and look an Monets. Brick walls, simple wood cabinets and smoked glass between us and the tellers. Nice to see these things in the right light.) And though I've never been in a bank executive's office I bet he's not sitting on a milk crate behind a card table with plywood and cinder block book shelves.

Just a little reminder that no matter how things get spun, they can get spun into a completely unexpected direction, too. Keep an eye out for fewer tellers and higher fees elsewhere...

Well. This is interesting. It's a webcam from my old neighborhood, and as I look at it tonight I can see snow sitting on the medians in the parking lot. On Septober 22nd. Now, I have no idea what you'll see whenever you decide (if you do) to follow that link, but it's looking like it'll be... SNOW! On the first full day of fall, no less.

Now, I thought we were warming the earth. So how do we believe there will be up to a foot of projected snow today? How did that happen? OH, YEAH... it's now "climate change"; a term so ambiguous that it can mean ANYTHING - and now does. If there are more hurricanes in the gulf, it's because of man. If there are fewer hurricanes, it's because of man. If there are more tornadoes across the midwest and south, it's man-made climate change. If there are fewer, or more intense tornadoes? You guessed it.

So the debate changed some years ago from "global warming" to "climate change," in order to weasel out of an ACTUAL debate on the subject. Have you noticed that algore won't debate ANY! of the hundreds of thousands - perhaps millions - of scientists who have data on their side and disagree with him?

Worse yet, those who blindly follow him and rely on See-BS "news" place their faith in phony, politically-driven institutes who bestow "awards" upon this gore buffon. "He won an oscar? Guess that proves he's right!" "The nobel prize? The guy must know his stuff!" "charlize theron agrees with him? Then so shall I!" and so on.

It nauseates me to no end.

The best part is that those of us who actually study the issue and the data are called ignorant, knuckle-dragging neanderthals by those who can't be bothered to actually follow the issue in any real sense. MISTER ORWELL - CALL YOUR OFFICE!

Of course, algore lost any micron of respect I could ever bestow upon him when he wrote that the internal combustion engine was the greatest threat to mankind years ago. Not terror. Not famine. Not AIDS. No. The engine he never even paused in using to get him from his mansion to the airport on his way to the next speech.

Real conviction to principle, there. And there are people out there who idolize this fool. UNbelievable.

I'm getting sick of being called a 'racist' because I'd like to see the gubermint keep marginally more sheets of blank paper in a drawer at the mint instead of feeding them into the presses like an intern at a Xerox on a one-hour deadline. My message is simple: STOP DEVALUING MY SAVINGS! (But to be fair, I know why they're doing it; because I'm one of only, like, 5% of Americans who actually HAVE some savings. So they've got to get me back into the credit game. Ain't gonna happen.)

If there is any question - ANY question - as to where the racists are in this country, this should clear it up. The right has fully embraced Dr. King's dream of judging people by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin. What's the left got? The color of people's skin and little if anything else.

Just think about it: the Right doesn't say, "we hate having a black man as President!" We say, "we disagree with the direction he's taking the country!" The left says, "they disagree! It must be over race!" Pathetic, but what else do they have? They don't study the issues, the facts or the data and are afraid to debate for that very reason!

There's a video out there of pete stark, (you don't even know who that is, do you?), trying to "refute" a discussion of the facts by a constituent at a "town hall" meeting. The gentleman ended his long list of facts and arguments by saying, "don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining." stark counters with, "I wouldn't pee on your leg - it would be a waste of urine." Both well-informed AND charming!

That's just one example of a much larger trend from the lefties. arlen specter told his constituents at a "town hall," (I hate that term), that "I don't have to be here!" Someone rightly yelled back, "you work for us!" It almost shut him up. Another - don't have the name at hand - told the audience that they should be nice enough to make an appointment through his office.

That last one cracks me up and sickens me beyond belief: first off, the guy (I want to say it was waxman but I'm not sure), announces an "open meeting" and is then ticked off that someone who DISAGREES with him might show up. Such arrogance. Secondly, I'm sickened by these people who get giraffe-shaped districts built for them for the sole purpose of staying in office and seem to feel as if the office itself is their birthright. Again - such arrogance.

I can't wait for next year: a swing of 40 seats (out of 435) changes the ballgame completely. Eleven more (out of 100) would be the icing on the cake. Fortunately, those currently in power are doing everything they can to make it possible...

OK. So it seems that I'm finally getting some recognition for what I've been saying for most of a decade. the story is here and it has an interesting beginning: "The average person may not associate coolness with the sun."

Well, that may be true in the strictest sense, but anyone with half a brain can associate the sun with RELATIVE coolness. In the same way that when you turn off an oven the appliance and the room it's in eventually cool down, so it goes with the sun. When it's hot, the room is hot. When it's cool, the room is cooler.

Heck - anyone with a wife or who IS a wife knows that's true. In the dead of summer when it's already hot we husbands hear, "it's too hot to cook; why don't you grill?"

Beautiful. So instead of raising the room's temperature by several degrees, we get to stand outside, over an active flame, burning off our arm hair and eyebrows, suffering through smoke constantly finding our face in order to turn hamburgers into charcoal. IT'S NATURE'S WAY!

But I digress...

As I was saying, if you have a heat source, you have heat. DUH If you turn that heat source UP, you get more heat - and the area around the heat source gets more heat as well. Pretty basic, right? The opposite would also follow: if you turn down the heat source then things would start to cool off. So. Where is our "stove?"

Equally obvious: our sun. A source of light, heat and occasional burns against our skin, it is the powerhouse in the neighborhood. When it gets hotter? We get hotter. When it calms down a bit? We cool down a bit. I can't believe that's missed by a number of otherwise seemingly intelligent people, but here we are.

The truth is, (and I've been saying it for years), that our sun runs hot and cold, (PROOF that it's female!), in roughly 15 year cycles. That is, 15 years of heating up and 15 years of cooling off, then it's back to the races again. Anyone with two brain cells and a single active synapse should be able to figure that out.

I'm just not sure which malady al gore is suffering from...

(And - I SERIOUSLY love grilling and do it year 'round. Even in the snow.)

UGHhh. If you don't work for the gubermint, then you're probably unfamiliar with the Hatch Act. In fact, there's probably a fairly good chance that you've never even heard of the thing because it's rarely discussed outside of yearly ethics training and the marbled halls of Uncle Sam. I can't decide whether that's a shame or a credit to gubermint workers. I'll leave that to others.

Basically - and it's always complicated because attorneys and judges are involved - it's a law that prohibits federal employees from running for office, (except senators, natch), fundraising for a candidate, stumping for a candidate, wearing campaign buttons while on duty -- you get the idea; federal employees are strictly forbidden from engaging in overt political activities when they're supposed to be on the clock.

So much for theory. Apparently the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts), held a conference call in which they discussed the best way to make aspiring artists create "art projects" that would encourage support for Little o "health" "care" "reform." Yep. That's how your tax dollars are being spent: trying to get more of your tax dollars. It's just freakin' beautiful.

And if you've just sold your soul and all of your principles by saying, "well, it will be worth it," then you're an Ends Justify The Means-er.

Which would explain why you supported President Bush's invasion of Iraq to depose saddam hussein.

RIGHT?!?

So I'm trying to envision how I'm about to turn the furnace back on. I'll admit that it seems like an exceedingly easy thing to accomplish, but I now have 3 young, human assistants as well as one geriatric canine "helper." This means that I will have to change the filter - for we have a vast store of them - before I flip the switches on the thermostat.

These are all very "Dad things," frankly. You never heard your Mom say, "I'm going to go mow the front yard!" You never heard your Mom say, "I'm going to grab the saw and fix that broken board on the deck." And you sure as heck never heard your Mom say, "I'm going out to complete the ultra-light! Be sure to order dinner for delivery sometime around six!"

There are certain things that are just "Dad Things." They just are. Sorry to all you college professors and "women's studies" krepfessors, but the second you show up to change my furnace filter and check my exhaust stack for mold, overuse or fire-hazard, we'll talk. I'll buy you dinner, in fact!

But I know that I'm only kidding myself, because I'm the Dad now and have to do Dad stuff; like changing the furnace filter and setting the temperature on the thermostat. That's what we do.

The good news is that I'm NOT alone in this because where the thermostat is, is out of bounds for the kids, so they should never touch it. In theory. So I'll still need to smack their hands.

So... . Other "Dad" stuff. What do you remember? What did you ever dream you'd write about? 4 or 40, when you lose your Dad, it's something: maybe just a lost question, maybe just missing a slug to the leg.

Same excuse as before. We'll see what happens...

(Still no news, for those of you asking. Just thought I'd start with that...)

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

It’s so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

The economy is so bad that CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

The economy is so bad Motel 6 won’t leave the light on anymore.

The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.

The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

At the office today, I spoke with 3 people about a certain subject - a movie - and was first surprised to find that the one friend I expected NOT to have seen it, did. And then was a bit surprised to learn that all 3 of them felt the same way I did about the movie: it stunk on ice.

The movie? "Watchmen." It was AWFUL! And it went on forever. In fact, I think it's still on in another window on this computer. Let me check...

Kinda: just 3 days later and the final credits are now rolling. Geez - it's like watching the Hundred-Years-war, the 3-DVD version. Well, at least they both end eventually. Add to that the fact that "Dr Manhattan" spends most of the movie "Tackle Out," and you've got a couple of complaints right there. I mean, if he can alter time, circumstance, space, create life, duplicate himself, transport himself and others, walk on the surface of the sun, vacation on Mars and overcome the most powerful of his former associates, shouldn't he be able to either: install a "retract" button, or; come up with something a little more impressive? Just sayin', is all.

Not to say the movie was a complete waste; it had its moments. And every one of those moments involved "Rorschach." He was BRILLIANT! A great character portrayed perfectly. The CGI was cool - and I'm usually distracted by such things because I'm too busy writing the code in my mind - and when he was without the mask he was even better. Best line in any movie I've seen lately: "I'M NOT LOCKED IN HERE WITH YOU! YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!!"

-Rorschach. Beautiful.

I think the problem with the movie - aside from lasting as long as a day on Neptune - was that they decided to make the movie in the first place. I mean, EVERYONE knows Superman, Batman, most of the X-Men, Wonder Woman, (coming soon), right? Several others can be explained quickly: Daredevil and The Punisher come to mind, (although the second Punisher can cram it with walnuts as far as I'm concerned), and there are those that need explanation.

Watchmen fell into the last category. Sure, my brother knew all about them beforehand, but that's his gig. I - and almost everyone else - had to learn about them on the fly. How do I know this? Because that's how they filmed the movie. WAY too much back-story on nearly every character and it was lacking in ACTUAL story. Never mind the political overtones, it was just TOO long, TOO much and not nearly enough fun.

Don't bother with it.

I'm still surprised by how enthralled I am with common sense. I know I've written about this before, but SERIOUSLY! In a world gone mad I find myself glad to be anchored by listening to the down-to-earth information of Dr. Laura and Dave Ramsey.

I've listened to them off-and-on for so long that I think I could host their shows when they're on vacation. They Just. Make. Sense. One is ALL about kids and family and the other is all about kids and family and money. If you're paying attention, you can't help but learn something from either of them.

I guess that I like the idea that they don't have to wrap their common sense up in a political statement every time they turn around. Sure they have their beliefs and opinions but I can't ever recall a time - short of a disclaimer on Dave's part - where either political party was mentioned. They have beliefs that stymie the politics we see everywhere today.

Maybe that's why I enjoy them so much. Never mind the oxymoron in the room, (me)...

So most of you who voted for King barry I really had no idea as to who he was -- you just voted for who he wasn't. I understand that. And now you may have come to a better understanding of who and what he is and the disastrous vision he has for "remaking" this Greatest Country On Earth. Or, at least if you're paying attention, you do. And just in case you're NOT paying attention...

There's a group out there named "acorn," which is a collection of potential presidents "community activists." They've been indicted for their voter registration drives which racked up such notables as Mickey Mouse, Charlie Brown, Daffy Duck and many other fictional characters. So you can just imagine what an upstanding group they are.

The thing is, years ago they were involved in a big lawsuit - I won't bore you with the details - other than to note that they were represented by a yet-unknown young attorney in Chicago named barack obama, (is there a "c" in there? I can't keep that straight). He fought for acorn and it was the baseline of where his loyalties lie. Not to mention the very definition of "community organizer" that somehow launched him into the most powerful office of the free world.

(Sheesh - if that's the standard, I'm next...)

But some videos have surfaced that show how acorn workers in several cities have 'what one would believe to be' a history of supporting outright criminal activity in their community. They have footage of acorn workers telling the "plants" to designate underage prostitutes they plan to house, "House Guests." The acorn workers also advise the undercover "pimp" to keep the mortgage in the "Madam's" name but just make the payments so they wouldn't lose the mortgage loan she was about to secure for them.

Let's be clear about this: if I went about bringing in a dozen or so early-teen girls to act as prostitutes in my house, how would I go about that? Well, I would consult a community organizer! And what would that community organizer advise me? Well, they're HOUSE GUESTS!

Think I'm kidding? Check it out at www.biggovernment.com . This guy is a complete slimeball and I'm not just guessing from his previous associations; I'm knowing it's true because of what he's doing now.

You voted for change? You got it. (That's likely to be my next tag-line so I won't have to keep repeating it)...s

We have new pics of the new kid, but there still ain't no new news here. Nothing's changed yet: The Wif has practically put down blueprints for the addition, (I think they're due here on Thursday), and we're just hanging out waiting to see what's going to happen. It's a remarkable position to be put in.

And even if you THINK you can imagine it, you can't even get close. Unless you've been there, I suppose; and just the thought of a child "out there" that might come to live with you is enough to set the mind to spinning. As mine is now.

Vunderbar...

The Bronc's won their season opener by a sheer miracle. It was as if The Ghost Of Mile High was there, but they were in Cincinati. So that was pretty unlikely. Still, the "bounce" was beyond explanation, except that I told MLD that the Broncos would need a miracle to win the game, (she barely bothers to follow the games), and then... AND THEN...

They got one. She didn't understand the specifics, (and if she never does that's OK with me, too), but she heard my yell. And since she knew the Broncos were playing, she knew that I had approved of what happened: The Bounce led to The Score and things came through.

We're one-and-Oh. Three or Four more and that should do us nicely.

I finally finished "Watchmen" and I'll have to trust that it's somewhat faithful to the source-material but I got the signal that the first movie killed the sequel. It was one of those movies, (spoken by a guy who's about to get "Wolverine" tomorrow). Of course, they could still do a 'prequel'where all the masked-superheroes show up and beat FDR into a wheelchair and I'd still watch it.

Well, that may be a bad example, but you get what I mean...

Sorry - no joke today. It's too serious a day, even if most of you have forgotten the attack, the remaining threat and what's about to come our way again. Perhaps on September 11th, 2013. That would fit the pattern.

But these things are of little matter to Americans because Wendy's is still open and if I hurry I can get the croissan'wich® before they stop serving breakfast and WHERE IS MY LAWN SERVICE ALREADY?!? They were due here yesterday! And I've got to pick up the dry cleaning and some more dog food and I think we're out of eggs...

*SIGH*

The worst part is when people who pay NO particular attention to the tide of things forget that we WERE ATTACKED by people who want to kill us. ALL of us. They hate us because most of us have no idea where Mecca is, much less pray to it five times a day. THAT'S it: they want to kill us because we believe differently than they do, (and you atheists and agnostics take note - you're on that list too for obvious reasons).

They attacked us. They killed a whole bunch of us. And it hasn't happened since. Here. Which is a major blessing upon the 4,000 plus families of those who have laid down their lives and given their all in order to keep us safe. The ultimate sacrifice to prevent some other ********* - uh, guys - from coming to our territory and doing it again. They're true heroes and deserve every accolade we can imagine and speak aloud.

So every heart should cheer with praise for the NYPD and the NYFD who ran INTO something that everyone else was running out of. Or, more accurately, TWO somethings. They performed their duty in a way that seems super-human if you take too long to think about it. Similarly, those soldiers who served in -- and continue to serve in -- Afghanistan and Iraq deserve our thanks and gratitude.

They're doing the heavy lifting: we're just sitting back here bitching about how well they're doing the job...

As most of you know, The Wif is a Mostly-Stay-At-Home-Mom: she's here most of the time with most of the kids, but MLD goes to school, (when the "indoctrination" switch is off), 5 days a week and The Knuckleheads are in day care 3 days a week. So we're kind of doing an interesting dance that will eventually reach its Coda. But as for now...

Since D-Man is going to be 5 years old, (LORD, Can It Be?), in just more than a dozen weeks, our day care is transitioning him into the "grade-schoolers" group. Never mind that it will be another year before he's an official grade-schooler, he seems to be fitting into an age demographic that's recognized by one school but not by the school district.

(Perfect chance to launch into an anti-little-o-care debate, but I'll let that smolder for a bit.)

So as he moves into the upper grade in preparation for his advanced age - and to make room for his little brother behind him - he's slowly adjusting to life without naps. As the rest of his family SLOWLY adjusts to life without him having a nap.

But it's murder. Sheer Hell. Gargling bits of razor blades that have been soaked in vinegar. He's a little Holy terror lately and dinner time has been an even greater challenge than I ever imagined it would be. He fights. He fusses. He whines and cries. He breaks all the rules and just for fun, apparently. Or just to cry over the correction for doing so. Who knows?

I'll admit that some of the fault here lies on my shoulders. The boy is an early riser and as such I'm not convinced he gets enough sleep, so I should probably keep him up longer than the other two (he's ALWAYS the first one up), so he might sleep a little longer. Then again, I'm not convinced I should try to change his nature; as someone who's suffered from sleep problems my entire life, I'm not in a real hurry to change his natural rhythms and screw him up forever.

So when he starts to be a pain when he's in my charge - which is more often than you might otherwise imagine - it's sometimes just easiest to have him take a nap because he's such a great sleeper. Like his Mother, that way, he is: out like a light at a moment's notice. Which makes it my fault that he still takes a nap from time to time and why he misses them on a mid-week basis.

Of course, if his Kindergarten class lets them take naps I'll immediately go crazy and pull my hair out.

Geeeeeeeezzzz. I just get to the point where I say, "what's this Bozo going to do next," remember - Bozo was from Chicago, too - when I get the answer. Of course, it's always, but ALWAYS more exposure for The One. Another speech, another initiative, another interview, another trillion dollars, another presser (wonk-speak for 'press conference'), another appearance somewhere. Crikey: I'm amazed that he hasn't set about having another dozen children just to have another excuse to jump in front of a camera from time to time.

Then again, that might damage Her Lady's precious arms and we can't have that now, can we?

So a nationwide speech to schoolchildren everywhere which was an interesting event on all fronts. The one that interests me the most at the moment is how the LSM treated it: "historic first!" "Nobody's EVER had the courage to do this before!" "Isn't he dreamy?" (That last one was chris matthews so it really doesn't count as news. Or intelligent commentary.)

Well, it seems that a President actually HAD addressed classrooms before. And it was a President named "Bush." But more about that in a sec...

The LSM was touting this as the greatest thing since someone started DREAMING about slicing manna; the little o was going to address the nation's schools and "rally the (soon-to-be) troops!" Of course, the accompanying materials were finally found to be so offensive to so many parents that the White House was forced to change them. Interesting, no? I guess they actually pay some attention to those popularity polls - even if the LSM will bury them if they come back with bad numbers.

So, as his numbers have started to free-fall, the administration decided to dial it back from "11" and at least try to appear a bit more "mainstream." Good luck with that, but that's what they did. What I'm wondering is whether the LSM outlets, (unpaid obama Hacks, in other words) - once those numbers started to slide and attendance lines across the country started to heat up - even reported that it had already been done; in October of 1991.

I mean, talk about your torn emotions! This HISTORICAL Presidency and every time he breaks wind in the Oval Office it's a Presidential FIRST! Then again, if he's catching Hell because of a nationwide address to future drones a captive audience of schoolchildren, wouldn't they want to say, "HEY! HE DID IT TOO!" to lessen the heat on their guy?

Man. I'd have loved to sit in on a few of those editorial meetings. Beautiful.

Of course the other news of the day is that the little o will be the FIRST! EVER! HISTORIC! PRESIDENT! to chair the un security council. Well I say, Big Stinking Deal - I do that every time I have a bean burrito...

Apparently he'll be talking about appeasing ourselves at the feet of the nuclear world and how important it is that we no longer split atoms, but just outlaw them entirely. Or something. Like everything with this guy it's subject to revision and whatever comes out of the teleprompter. So, THAT'S changed; congratulations!

MARK. My. Words. This is setting him up to be the FIRST (HISTORIC!) sitting President to be gifted with the nobel peace prize. I don't know when the nominations occur, but I'm going to promise you that he'll be on the short list. (I can't be bothered to research if it's happened before nor when the board meets for nominations. That doesn't change my prediction. Plus, there will be TV cameras there, so he's sure to shoehorn himself and his teleprompter in there somehow.)

So he promises the left what they want, advances a socialist agenda, is over-sold by the LSM, "blessed" by the un with a "position," nominated by chris matthews for the peace prize, ad nauseam. There's a rather obscene name for this but I'll spare the internets another obscene reference.

(Although I'd LOVE to receive emails with the name in caps in the body of the email. Just so I know I got the point across.)

One of the better parts of keeping MLD out of school yesterday was the opportunity to talk to her about what was going on. To state it again, I make a point of NOT brainwashing My Lovely Daughter: after all, do I really want to train her to "think" whatever the man in her life does? HELL NO! I want her to be able to think for herself for a ton of reasons - but mainly so she'll be able to see through the B.S. of guys like I was when she's older. Secondarily, I'd like to believe that if she's able/allowed to think for herself now it might ease her rebellious years which are sure to come. (Allow me my fantasy, please.)

So I do my best to present both sides of any given argument and then tell her what I believe. For the moment, she seems to have swung back to my side of the aisle and claims to have an understanding of why she wasn't in school. We talked it over - in between her reading/writing/skill-book assignments - and demonstrated a nearly 8-year-old grasp of the whole thing. She then asked if she was going back to school tomorrow (today) and I said she was. I then warned her that I didn't know what would be discussed or if she'd suffer any fallout for not being there, but she could always call me if things got ugly, (they usually do with lefties).

She told me if they start talking about it she wasn't going to listen. She'd just sing a song in her head while they talked about it.

So, OK. We'll get to talking about "debate" once the left wants to re-visit the topic. Until then, I'll just stick with presenting the facts to her and letting her decide how wise it is to talk with people who want to kill us. Or how eager we are to wait for 2 months for a doctor's appointment when she's sick.

Something's sick. Thank GOD it isn't her...

So Labor Day - the traditional harbinger of the cold weather to come and the warm weather to leave - has come AND gone. Of course, this summer hasn't exactly been the warmest on record, (WHAAAA? Shouldn't they ALL be warmer than the next?!?), so it's possible the Fall could be warmer than usual. But I doubt it. Record cold summers and winters around the world, (or "globe"), tend to suggest that things are not going the way of the "warmers."

In fact, now that we actually HAVE a growing season, it interesting to see how the "crops," have responded; the pumpkins are almost ready to carve, (way too early, but they're a cold crop), and the corn isn't quite there. Although it should be. Lots of weeds still in the garden box because I'm worried about pulling out the plants as well in the moist soil.

And I guess that brings me to a discussion about the back yard. So here we go: YUCK. I've spread out the best stuff I know there is out there and it still shows little promise. I think I'll have to call in my Vietnamese yard crew to aerate again so I can seed and fertilize before I winterize.

Holy cow. Did I just say all that? It sounds like I almost know what I'm talking about with this crap - when I really don't know and really don't care, frankly.

Well, that can't be right I suppose. I guess if I'm thinking about it I care about it on some level.

And that level is, "WIF." Phone calls, cash and spreader work to follow...

Ain't no new news here.

There's still no update on the one that might become my newest - and last - son. I thank those of you who asked, but my answer is lame for a reason: we know nothing, (Sgt. Schultz style). Zip. No update whatsoever. We're dying to hear something, but we're not driving this bus, so we have to sit back and wait.

As I'm frequently reminded by a certain person who shares my address, this won't happen tomorrow. It could take weeks, or months or years before some decision - either way - is reached. After all, these things take time, as we found out during the first go 'round.

Then again, it could happen tomorrow...

And With A Single Phone Call I excused my daughter from class today. Like I said I would. (We'll have to see if she's going to suffer any ill-effects from the school, but if [wavylines] trevor b [/wavylines] stops talking to her over it, I'll count it to the positive.)

She'll be home with me while I work, but her on her own is a complete cakewalk: she can do her own thing and Mommy will pick out pages from her skill-books for her to do. She'll have reading assignments and I'll give her some Physics homework, (quarters for pinball: that counts!) and maybe some electrical projects, ("make the fan work," "light both the blue and the red LED," "get a sound out of the speaker,"), and she'll do just fine missing a day of socialistic indoctrination.

This could turn into a really, REALLY productive day on all kinds of fronts...

If there's something I don't have to say outloud here it's that I don't shy away from political discussion. I can say and do this because I KNOW I'm the most-informed bear in the woods, usually: I actually KNOW what's in the bills being voted on and that puts me WAY ahead of even our elected representatives who have no clue what they're voting for/against.

But if you actually TALK to me, (as much I discourage such behavior), you should note that I don't ever - EVER - try to influence your opinion on specific legislation unless that's what YOU want to talk about. In that case, I'll share my opinion and what I know and leave you to go your way and do your thing.

(Now, it's important to note that this website doesn't count because it is, has been and will so long as it survives be a forum for me to clear my mind before I tuck in and a chance to practice my ability with the language as well as a way to dedicate myself to writing something on most nights. Further, it fits perfectly with the above rule because NONE of you ever engage me - even though I make myself completely available for discussion.)

So it was especially painful recently when I checked with (what was) a very close friend merely to see if the email address I had for them was still active and she responded with, "Free Health Care!" I mean, who needs that kind of crap? I'm trying to send them a picture of what may become my third son and fourth child and she needs to make the thing political? Psssh!

So - most of you know me - I sent back about 5 short paragraphs, (OK, you didn't see that coming), and I basically said, I was checking the email addy. I was going to send a pic of the boy that may be coming to live with us. You degraded the conversation and now I have no interest in this conversation.

Her response? A COMPLETELY condescending unabomber-style page-after-page reply that I was happy to know she'd neglected either her kids, her husband or her job to compile, so I neglected it as well. I responded with another simple message: "[edited with the DEL key]" She came back with, "DAMN you and your DEL key."

So that's the beauty of the American left today: agree with me or go to Hell. Perfect. "I don't have medical insurance so you shouldn't have any either." Grand.

Now I'll admit that I haven't always made the right choices in my life and in so doing have not only messed up my own life but the lives of many others. I suppose it's a testament to how many lives I've touched that I can list how many I've damaged. In some kind of sick, weird way.

But now? Well, I'm much better, thanks, (for some reason Bink has taken to saying "Thanks" instead of "Thank you." Not sure what's going on there), and I'm now only responsible for continuing to screw up the lives of my Wif and (for now) 3 children. So I'll stick to that.

As for future family arrangements? Well, I have a choice: I can wait for an apology, (or Haley's Comet), I can go and wait for her to mention those same three words again - at which point we immediately leave - or I can stay home with the kids.

That's a tough decision...

“The trouble with father,” said the gilded youth, “is that he has no idea of the value of money.”

“You don’t mean to imply that he is a spendthrift?”

“Not at all. But he puts his money away and doesn’t appear to have any appreciation of all the things he might buy with it.”

All too short but all too fitting, right now. The funny thing is that I've been socking away money like crazy lately. To be honest, at one time I felt as if I was securing money in an accessible account in the case of my death.

That may yet be true: who knows?!?

The thing is, we have a large amount of cash stockpiled in our saving account as an, "Emergency Fund." And if anything qualifies as an "emergency," I don't want to know if it isn't this.

So! A bonus joke, purely gratis:

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM.’ He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM.. Wake up.’

Too stupid, but too true...

(As I think I tweeted - or soon will - the more I look at the little guy, the more I want him in my home and in my family. More to follow, no doubt.)

Can't this idiot spend more than 24 hours without having to stand in front of a camera? I KNOW I've said this before, but he just keeps proving how he wants to be a rock star instead of President. FINE. Let's elect better next time, shall we?

I mean, C'mon -- even those of you who jumped on the "Black Bandwagon" or the "Change Bandwagon," or the "Hope Bandwagon" have to admit that he's been an enormous letdown. Hell, he's already admitted to being a HUGE disappointment by the very fact that he has to "address the Nation," next week to CHANGE the definition of the "public" "health care" "OPTION." Such a thing will never exist, GOD willing, but if it should pass...

It will be mandatory shortly after it takes effect and we'll all lose our health insurance in "favor" of the "public" "OPTION." I mean, these are the people who manage SCHIP, the VA, Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security. There's nothing suspect in THOSE programs, right? So why should we worry about turning over our prostate, our breasts and our children to these guys, right?

The problem - as I see it - is that those of us with good insurance have a genuine desire to keep our insurance, but, having a caring heart, we also want to help those without insurance. So some of those with insurance are willing to give up about half of their own coverage, (mostly because they've rarely used it), in order to feel better about themselves. This is no basis upon which to build public policy.

Almost half of all Americans are already covered by some sort of gubermint health-care system that I listed above. If we still need additional coverage, I'll have to ask "Why?" We have plans in place already -- why not FIX THOSE programs instead of starting a new, unfunded, enormous, back-breaking, family-eroding NEW thing that is sure not to work?

We're going to trust the gubermint to do something they've proven they're unable do? Can somebody please remind me what the definition of madness is, because several million (HA! - inside joke), Americans seem to be ignorant as to the meaning.

It's sad, really, how Orwellian we've become; up is down and wrong is right. And it's perfectly OK with a certain segment of the population that America - the country that has a written document that allows them to think for themselves - is the bad guy in the world. In spite of all the good we've ALWAYS done.

OK, I'm rambling. It happens from time to time. But I mean it: STOP BEING A WEINNIE!! Step up, take care of yourself and stop picking my pocket...

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So, things have gotten strange but not settled around here: for some time now I've been socking away every dollar I can find - except those I intend to spend on whiskey, hookers and dice - and we have a comfortable safety-net, (NOT publicly-funded). I have sometimes wondered what drove me to this particular action, but we may find out soon.

Still no word on the "Baby Brother" but I'm pretty sure we're gearing up for his arrival: plans for an addition, (paid for in cash), and otherwise just kind of sitting by the phone or monitoring email in anticipation of some kind of news. Then again, I have to remind myself that county and state gubermints move at the speed of the federales, so nothing will come through until the end of the year, or spring, at least.

Good enough, so long as the kid is out of harm's way, I suppose. Things will be what they're supposed to be, (and I have to remember that). If he's meant to be here, he'll find his way here.

And Bink WILL BE TICKED!

The thing is, along with this mixed blessing is the fact that the longer I look at this little guy's picture, the more I want him sleeping on my chest. I'm sure The Wif feels the same, (although he's much more likely to skid to the floor from her chest. Wild World Of Sports is THAT terrain).

We'll see what happens...

Well, well. It seems that my worst fears about the little o are busy coming true; this guy can't stand being away from a camera (and the mandatory teleprompter) for more than about 18 minutes. Not to mention his promise to "transform" America into a third-world country. Of course, he never included that latter bit in his speeches: too telling.

Earlier this week I had heard that Blessed Leader was going to address our nation's school children - IN CLASS - to encourage them to stay in school and study hard. Something in me stirred and I thought, 'isn't that the job of the FRICKIN' PARENTS?!?' But then the 'O GLOW' hit me and I realized that He IS the parent of us all: He knows best. He does best. Trust in Him cannot help but be rewarded. Listen and Grow, younglings...

As if that wasn't bad enough, the accompanying material that's already been sent out includes such "discussion questions" as, "what does it take to become President," (not much, apparently)? "What does obama want to accomplish?" And the best is, "what can YOU do to help President little o accomplish his goals?" (Some editing was done on the previous sentence - ed)

The very idea of this sickens me: the President is going to address - if he has his way - EVERY schoolchild on the same day at the same time and either help or start their indoctrination into the socialist way. Oh, that won't be the explicit message, but he's just planting seeds at this point.

I can't imagine ANYthing more STALIN-esque, but just wait until next week...

The good news around here is that MLD is starting to see the errors of the little o's ways. The best news is that it's not because I've been standing over her while she's consuming bowls of gruel and shouting at her head, "obama is bad! obama is ruining this country! He's a one-term mistake like jimmah carter was!"

Instead, I've explained to her how the little o wants to raise taxes through the roof - a concept I'd already introduced to her, (I'd open a "fun size" bag of Skittles and then eat one, calling it "Daddy Tax." This made the coming tax increases easy to explain: "instead of just eating one of your Skittles, he'll eat 3 of them." She got it immediately) - and how he wants to "talk" to the people who are eager to kill us at every opportunity.

Anyone who wants to disagree with me is free to do so. I'm not hiding here.

So my answer is not one I'm proud of but is probably the best I can muster in defense of MLD; she'll miss school that day. I'll have to call her in, "uninterested in socialist propaganda," and will have to check with the daycare to see if they can just keep her there - and how much extra it will cost (don't tell them, but it's worth a king's ransom to keep her out of school should they decide to show this krep - likely). The other option is that, since it's on a Tuesday and she is normally very, very low maintenance, I can keep her at home while I work. I'll have to fix her lunch, but heck, I have to fix lunch for me, too! How long does it take to nuke a bowlful of canned ravioli, anyway?

Oooh, but I've gotten ahead of myself - as usual. I'm planning on calling the school office today and asking if they're planning to play the little o's broadcast. If so, is there an opt-out option, (after all, this is the guy so fond of "options" and "choices," right)? I expect that there won't be. SO, if I call the office and hear that they're going to play the broadcast I will IMMEDIATELY ask to be transferred to the Attendance line.

Where MLD will be excused in favor of a "dose of reality." I look forward to the results...

OK. So someone asked why I didn't say anything about the kennedy death/funeral. The reasons are numerous:

- I can't be bothered to care. The guy was a loser - and possibly a murderer - who happened to shoot out of the "right" birth canal and land safely on a large pile of cash. He bought his offices with a combination of money and sympathy without ever having to accomplish anything. Aside from re-election.

- This STUPID idea about the "American Camelot" just makes me ill. "Camelot?" REALLY? As I recall, in Camelot it was Arthur who was faithful and Ol' Gwen who dropped her corset at the first "Hello..." . But like everything else about the left, they have this backwards as well. Color me shocked.

- As I said above, what are we celebrating, exactly? Aside from bloviating on the senate floor or at demo fundraisers, WHAT THE HELL DID HE EVER DO? I mean, apart from raising funds for the Republican party every time his name was attached to a bill, I can't come up with much. Or anything.

- The funeral? Well, I couldn't be bothered to suffer my way through it, but I heard the "high" lights and I had to fight to keep my lunch where it belonged. Does ANYONE out there actually believe his grandkids wrote their invocations? If so, contact me immediately because I have an investment opportunity I'd like to share with you.

- Additionally, my comment over the "high" light reel they played yesterday morning - of teddy jr saying his daddy said he could "go anywhere" - was that, "so long as you don't let your brother drive." Or his father, I suppose.

The most amazing part of the whole thing is that as a professed Catholic, he gets the equivalent of a State Funeral in spite of the fact that he denied the Most Central Tenet of the Church's doctrine. Now, I'm not a Catholic and I've had my fair share of disagreements with the Church along the way, but I have to believe that - to put it simply - actions speak louder than proclaimed Faith. So why is the Church playing host to this farce?

Easy. It goes back to that birth canal argument...

We saw something interesting here the other night. Well, heard it actually. It was bath night and that means we had 2 naked little boys running free around the home. "GET YOUR ROBE!" I yelled, but of course Bink answered by saying, "I have it," and then holding it up in his hand. Not exactly what I had in mind, frankly...

Once corralled in the bathroom The Knuckleheads were, um... taking care of business when D-Man started telling a story but couldn't quite finish it because he couldn't get the right words together in the right order. He stalled out. Without missing a beat, Bink finished the story for him.

It was 100% cute and 110% scary. Can you imagine what they'll be like as they age? With Bink running the show? And can you possibly imagine what will happen if there's one more of them here? Yikes.

(BTW, check out the top Twitter post: it nearly knocked me on my butt. I guess the "Stone Family Chair" will be in place in the principal's office before I expected. And possibly last much longer than I imagined. We'll see on both counts.)